Episode Two Redefining Success
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Lauren: [00:00:00] Oh Lala,
we should just behind the scenes like how we start our
Jen: podcast. This is actually we're singers, the Von Trap family. S singers. La Do.
Lauren: Oh, a dear. A female dear. See, okay. But I will say though,
Jen: mm-hmm Are we
Lauren: in it? Can we like start?
Jen: Yeah, we're in it. We're in it. Okay. So
Lauren: think since we were just being silly in talking about the Van Trout Family of Sound of Music, which by the way was one of my favorite movies ever.
Like this
Jen: explains everything. It was one of my two. I'm like, okay.
Lauren: So much about it. Okay, so you know. Like one of the things why I love that movie is just the joy you get from like watching the kids and , what's her name that lead? Julia. Julia Andrews, Maria. Maria Maria. Going around town and singing and dancing and just being [00:01:00] playful and having fun.
And that's this episode, by the way, it's all about redefining success and what Jen and I have really, really learned and what our main focus is in our business now is having fun. So I wanna set the scene because we had our own Van Trap day yesterday of hanging outta trees and literally, so here's the picture.
We're in Mexico City on Amsterdam Street, which is one of my favorite streets in the whole world probably. It's so beautiful. Mm-hmm. , it's a circle and there's like a path and there's trees all around it. And there's these beautiful old buildings that are colorful and cafes and we're dressed up. I have like rhinestone boots on and Jen has like these green glasses.
It was just such a fun experience. And we're jumping and we're playing around and Jen looks at me at one point and we're laughing and having the best time, and Jen looks at me and she's like, just two 40 year olds like having fun in Mexico City and this or something. Like you said something jumping around in Mexico, just jumping around in [00:02:00] Mexico City.
And I had this like moment where I was like, oh shit, this is success. This is work. We're working right now, even though we're not, we're considering this podcast more of a fun hobby, but it still follows under the work category. And this is work. We're we're, this is what we do. We create content, we're working.
And to be in one of the most amazing cities with my best friend, acting like kids that were 40 and were 40, having so much fun, literally jumping around, I can't wait for you guys to see these photos
Jen: so good.
Lauren: But I was like this. That's, that's
Jen: success. Yeah. . It was fun, y'all. I mean, I am sure that everybody who got the show yesterday who didn't pay for tickets, by the way, is free to watch two 40-year-old women jumping around in Condesa.
I hope that it brightened someone's day, you know? Yeah, because it was just really, it was really us, which felt really good because, okay, so we had done a photo shoot when we first [00:03:00] met in 2020. Mm-hmm. 2021. It was 2021. April, 2021. April, 2021. And. It was just a whole different thing back then. We styled like we wanted to, I remember we wanted it to look like a magazine cover.
Yeah. And we did it. Yeah. We even hired like a fashion photographer who's one of my good friends to shoot us.
Lauren: He was amazing. It was just such a cool experience to get shot by somebody that literally shoots supermodels and works for some of the best publications in the world. It was a whole experience and we literally hiked the Hollywood Hills and did the photo shoot in
Jen: cactuses in the
Lauren: Hollywood Hills.
Jen: Yeah, cactuses. And we were in like these super high end dresses off the shoulder. Like your look with the off the shoulder. Yeah. They were like sequence, like the sequence,
Lauren: like black sequence
Jen: and I think cheetah.
She was wearing cheetah print. Cheetah print and yeah. Black also really cool cuts.
it was a fun shoot. It just was a different vibe and a [00:04:00] different time. And I think we were both still in our late thirties.
Lauren: We were, we weren't 40 yet. , and I think this is so fun because in our last episode we really talked about like the burning it down and that photo shoot, those photos no longer represent where we are.
These photos we have and we'll, we'll share, maybe we'll share them with you guys. You guys have to see them if you haven't, but they are stunning. Oh yeah. Stunning. , but it just, it wasn't the vibe. There was a part of me that like wants to use, do something epic with them, that's just no longer us.
I know, right?
Jen: It's like, it's so funny because this photo shoot that we just did yesterday, like it's us. Yeah. You'll, if you just. Looked at the photos, it, they're not even, they're not videos at all. If you just look at the photos, you'll be like, okay, I know who these people are. Yeah. Like I get it. And a friend of ours was saying yesterday like, well, when people see these, 'cause she saw like a little preview, she's like, they'll know whether they're your people or not.
Lauren: Yeah. So fun. , literally Jen's like on my back in some of the [00:05:00] pictures, which just being so silly. But I mean, this is in this, and we're gonna talk about this another episode around like just authenticity and self-expression. But this is, I think one of going back to success and really how we are now just defining success.
And a piece of that is just fully unapologetically getting to be ourselves and getting to help people and get paid for that. That to me is. I think the best feeling in the world. And that is success, being able to do what you want, be who you are without filtering yourself. And I remember you're gonna laugh at the story 'cause you know, you remember this old me, I, when I first became a coach, I was working, I got asked to by a well-known coach and they, she certifies coaches she asked me to work with for her.
So I was doing these calls and I remember I would have like outfits or tops that I'd put on to do these professional calls, but, 'cause I was working for somebody [00:06:00] else. But then when I would create my own content or when I was doing my own calls, I was like wearing the clothes that I would wear and.
I think that's just like a huge piece. 'cause I remember even being in corporate and like my last job in corporate, we had like a dress code and we had to like, wear certain clothes. And to me getting to wake up and sometimes not even getting outta my yoga pants for six hours or all day long, or waking up and going to the beach and walking for hours and then showing up to my call with Sandy feet in a bathing suit.
, I can't tell you how many times I do coaching calls from my, with like my in my bathing suit. That's just once again another form of what I really am now defining like what success looks like is just getting to do it your way. It doesn't, it's like having this total freedom to be you.
Jen: Yeah. Yes. This is a theme of, one of the, my latest, YouTube episodes. Mm-hmm. Episodes, latest YouTube videos, because I had this realization, , this realization came from talking [00:07:00] to, . A friend of mine mm-hmm. Who is actually in her late twenties. Mm-hmm. And she's like on her hustle game. And That's cool.
Yeah. And I'm like, maybe if I was still in my late twenties, I'd still be, I'd be on that same track.
Lauren (2): Yeah.
Jen: But right now I just, I can't, I can't, energetically, it's too much to be on that four times a week, sort of like YouTube video schedule, or three times, 10 times a day posting short form social media content.
It's literally too much. That is the fastest way to head towards burnout. And I'm realizing like us business owners, content creators over 40, we can do it differently. Like we're allowed, and not only are we allowed, but we should do it our
Lauren: own way. Totally. One of my clients that I've worked, have worked with for a while.
She is a TikTok person. She has over a hundred [00:08:00] thousand followers. She's amazing. She actually helps people become famous., she's like a self-made celebrity. She's amazing. And she, I've always been so fascinated about, I, because I, when I first started working with her, she was at like 10, 12,000 followers.
And then within, you know, not a very long time was at a hundred thousand followers. And I asked her, I was like, what is it? And she's , honestly, she's I don't post a ton of content. She's like, you people think that you need to be out there hustling and posting a lot. But she's , I'm just, I align myself.
I'm, she's just, what's the right way to put that? She's just, I'll go, woo. A little bit. She's in the right energy, right? So she's doing in a place, she's not just going to do it, but she's really connected to what she's doing. So she creates really high quality videos a couple days a week that hit, and that's how she grew her audience because she was speaking directly to the people that they resonated because she was so raw and she was so her.
And that's actually what she teaches people, that there's like this energetic shift of like you being the person that hits. And I know that's really what I've learned and [00:09:00] what you've learned in our businesses is 'cause we've done it that way where we did the hustle. And it only gets you so far because at some point it's not sustainable and you're gonna have to find another way if you wanna keep on going.
Jen: Yeah. I like to frame it too, like exactly what we're, how we're saying it. Knowing something beyond the age of 40 is a privilege that I, I didn't even realize that I had until I. I don't know. I must have had the realization somewhere around like building my YouTube channel. Mm-hmm. And then realizing wait a minute.
'cause I called you with this realization too. Yeah. Like on the phone. And I was like, Hey friend, people over 40 right now are so under serviced in the content creation game. No one's talking to us. You know, everyone is talking to the twenties, [00:10:00] thirties, the young people. They're trying to appeal to that attention span.
They're trying to appeal to those topics that people under 40 like gravitate towards. Because the thought is that these are the people that are hanging out on social media. And so we are bending ourselves backwards to try to make ourselves fit into this weird little box where we're like, we're not in that box.
So to. Talk about what it means to be successful in your forties is a real thing. It's not just , let me like siphon off an age group. Yeah. But there is, for me at least, there was like this realization that I had that it's not the same thing as when I was in my twenties and in my thirties. Yeah.
Lauren: Creating content. But also too, I think that when you think about like twenties and thirties, that's kind of the time when you're getting to figure out yourself, you're making mistakes. There is a certain level of a hustle I think that actually happens in our 2030s as we're figuring [00:11:00] things out. But by the time you hit 40 you and you know yourself and there's a level of comfort, that's when we wanna really lean in , and I know that's for me and how I really help my clients build businesses is learning how to really align to yourself, your truth, your passions, your the things that let you up.
Because there are so many ways to build a business. You might as well do it in the way that feels most lit up to you, that feels aligned to you, that feels aligned to your energy in how you like to communicate with people. And I think that when we get in our forties and after there's a certain level of trial and error, we know what we, we know what we want, right?
, we're not here to fuck around. We're here to, we're here to get this shit done. And I think that when we're like, okay, I'm gonna, I'm ready now to create this, we tend to wanna go back to that model in our twenties and thirties of pushing really hard to get there. But I think that there's actually more power and leaning back in [00:12:00] our knowledge and in our knowing and in a groundedness because that energy of being connected to yourself before having to take the action is way more a sustainable, but b hit.
Resonates with people so much harder. And I think that why this happens is because I think in our twenties and our thirties, there's a level of proving ourselves to ourselves and others and a certain level of validation that we're looking for in our twenties and our thirties. And when we get to our forties, I think there's a little bit more of a shifter where there's already a level of inside validation.
So we're not having to work and , prove ourselves in the same way because we already are. And so we get to just move smoother and faster, but not harder. Yeah. Because there's already a connection and there's already wisdom and there's already trust with ourselves. And I think that when we can use our experience and use this, like just knowing inside of us, that's the thing that's gonna allow us [00:13:00] to bring more ease and also allow us to say, no, I don't have to, people please.
. And I think me and Jen have majorly gone through this in the last three couple years that we've seen each other. Just giving a lot less fucks about what other people think. . Even each other sometimes what? Right. Yeah.
Jen: I mean, well, that's something that I just appreciate about our friendship anyway, is that I know Lauren's not here to blow smoke up my ass, which is something that would always bother me when I was younger is like feeling like I had to suss out people.
Yeah. Like do I trust that this person is being genuine or are they trying to get me to like them? Yeah. That was like a big thing for me and I don't know why I was always skeptical. Yeah. Like I didn't really, really know. Yeah. And so I find, now in my forties, it's so easy for me to just weed people out.
And not in a negative way. It's just like I know who are my people, I know who I wanna spend time with, who I wanna have conversations with. I know who. Who feels [00:14:00] like a waste of time and not for any other reason. Not saying that there's anything wrong with those people. They're just not my people. We don't have as much in common as I would like with somebody who I'm gonna keep close.
Absolutely. You know?
Lauren: Yeah. , And I think too, that's part of the, in life and even in our business, when we are trying to plea , and I'm gonna talk specifically about like maybe like a niche or something, right? When we're trying to be broad and please everybody. Mm-hmm. There's a lot more like energy.
There's a lot more like stretching and work you have to do. Where I think that the more you are just who you are and that you are speaking directly to the people that you wanna be talking about and not trying to talk to everybody, not trying to appease everybody, not only does that create more freedom, but it also creates more success actually.
'cause we just had this conversation. 'cause you know, me and Jenna are always having fun conversations about like my business and, , when my, when our brains get like a little scattered, we'll we go back to the basics, which is always. Really being clear, being clear about your, our messaging, being clear about who we're actually helping, what [00:15:00] we're, , about the results, right?
Like going back to the core things and the, over the eight years that I've been in business, the more that I have really refined and specifically try to talk to certain people and try to repel other people. That's really where this actual success comes in, in building a following, growing and selling to.
Mm-hmm.
Jen: , I feel like, I don't know if it was just me. I, I know it wasn't just me. 'cause I know everybody has problems reaching, but , while we were doing our coaching businesses back then in 20, 20, 20 21, it was like a huge deal to be like, you know, like I chose my niche. Like people did not wanna choose a niche.
I mean, I didn't even wanna choose a niche. Yeah. I was like flippy floppy back and forth. And I feel like even though. We kind of defined who our niche was. I think you and I together was, it was easier for us together to define a niche, especially with the first iteration of the podcast because it was like, [00:16:00] oh, you were obviously an entrepreneur, you were into spirituality, and that's why you would be listening to our podcast.
Yeah. I, I think as time has gone on and then as your and my businesses became separate Yeah. Like trying to figure out who we were really talking to Yeah. Was a big thing, you know? Um, something that I thought was really interesting was like, on YouTube, man, I've been wanting to get on YouTube since 2011 or something like that.
Yeah. Mm-hmm. You know, like for 17 years I was, I had been dabbling in and out of YouTube, not with my own channel once, with my own channel, but this last iteration was one where I finally chose a niche. And the niche happened to be . People over 40 who want to be creating content. Because I think that we are even like, you know, there's a lot of people who are like, don't tell, don't tell anybody how old I am.
I'm like, I will tell anybody how old I am because I don't really care and I don't actually even care about [00:17:00] talking about how to look younger, feel younger, pretend like you are younger. Yeah. There's a lot of that kind of content and that's cool and all, but that's not my vibe. It's boring to me.
There's so much more interesting stuff that we talk about, you know what I mean? Especially as people who've had careers for 20 years. It's not the same as like a, you know, somebody in their twenties who's had a career for 10 years. Yeah. We've got double, we've got a decade on them.
Lauren: And also too, like I said before, like we're not here to fuck around.
We know what we like, we know what we don't want. We. It's just about making it more enjoyable. It's about, and I think that's the, the freedom of it. , and going back to,
and I think that we get so caught up on metrics, right? When we think of the word success.
Jen: Mm.
Lauren: When we think about that, that is, and I, and actually recently in the last couple years, me and me and Jen have talked about this, I think in last episode, is that we really have changed [00:18:00] the way that we look at how we're measuring ourselves in our business and how our businesses are doing.
Mm-hmm. Where, of course there was those times, and I wanna tell this quick story where, and I remember this specifically, it was April and May and June of 2021 when we had launched our mastermind. And it was a crazy success. In fact, like me and Jen brought in $24,000 in 24 hours.
Remember that? And we did a whole masterclass on that. And there was, it was just, it felt like. We couldn't do wrong. We were just, it was just, it felt easy, it felt fun. There was money coming. It was a plentiful. Me and Jen had so much money and we actually look back now and we're like, damn, we did not know how to manage that money.
We did know, , it was a whole like, thing, thing to look at that. But because me and Jen, the way we were measuring our business was by money trying to keep up with our peers or trying to keep up with some of the groups that we were running and , some of the masterminds that we were running and we're really focused on money and granted, [00:19:00] yes, we're in, we are in business to make money.
We're not here to have little job, I mean like our hobbies, you know, like we're really here to make money and that's, what I love talking about with , my people. But it's more than that. And when you get lost in it and it can get really fun when a lot of money comes in, you're like, here it is.
But I remember that when we were making the most money, I was actually the least happy. And I look back now because. At that point in my life, I was taking off time from dating. I was not dating, I had not dated for, for many, many years. I was living in downtown San Diego in a beautiful apartment. I had my BMW convertible.
From the outside I had the check boxes I was making like $25,000 months or like all the things like, but on the inside at nighttime, what was happening is after work, which would be very late because I was working so much, how I would unwind was binge eating [00:20:00] and watching TV and then waking up and doing it the next morning.
She doesn't even have a TV right now. You're right. I don't own any tv. I had two TVs back then. , and I remember just being like, fuck. On the outside, it's this is everything I wanted. This was like, I was, my manifesting board was like the BM BMW convertible, the like $25,000 months, the successful business, all of the things.
But I was miserable. And I remember one day just being like, and I'm alone. I have nobody to, to like celebrate this with like my success. And at that point, that year is when I decided to sell all my things and start traveling abroad and having these amazing experiences and that it became very evident that my, what I had measured success.
I had forgotten to look at the whole picture. And I was like, what success looks like? And I was, had the money, had the business success, but I was working a lot. I was exhausted. I was emotionally eating and I was lonely. [00:21:00]
Jen: Okay, so now that you have said this part, yeah. What I want you to define success.
For yourself right now, like in this moment, what, what piece of success do you have? What pieces of success are you still moving towards? What does success look like now?
Lauren: Yeah. I, I think the number one thing is freedom. And I'll be very vulnerable. So I've been living in Sayulita, Mexico. I've been living between San Diego and there's always this balance in my mind of like, where am I gonna live next?
Where am I at? Because I'm at this point, nomadic, I don't own a car. I don't have a permanent residence. I live in Airbnbs. And there's a freedom to this, right? I'm in Mexico City right now with Jen and I'm having the best time, and there's a part of me that's like, I kind of wanna come live here for a bit.
I kind of wanna come check this out. And then all of these things keep on happening that are pointing that I should be here. And then I'm like, okay, I think I'm gonna do it. So I'm [00:22:00] definitely gonna come live here for at least a month. But it's like, that is so fucking rad that it's just, I can do whatever I want where I'm like, cool, let's go check out this city.
So there's a, a freedom in my life and I was thinking about this. I was getting ready thinking about this podcast, and I, I can do what I wanna do. I could wake up. When I wanna wake up. I can eat what I wanna eat. I could sleep. When I wanna sleep, I can go where I wanna go. I could do anything I want. And I'm getting to do what I love.
Like right now, in this moment, this speaking from my heart, having fun, connecting, talking about like impacting others. Like this is it. There's nowhere else I'd rather be in this moment than with Jen. And I know that I'm gonna get a little sentimental here because I know that when our podcast lend ended last time, there's kind of a hole for both of us.
I mean, yeah, like there is, like you were going through a whole other thing.
Jen: I was like, I didn't
Lauren: feel bad whole, she was going, she was going through a whole other thing, [00:23:00] but me. It broke my heart to end our podcast and you know that, right? 'cause that was so, I just love what I did because it was so easy and it was so fun.
So to me to get to collaborate and to get to pe be around people that light you up. And for people to want to be around that and to people to want to work with me and admire the work that I do. And I get to share my tools and I get to help people make money and I get all these text messages about how my clients have had these breakthroughs.
But more importantly, what I love the most is that when I'm celebrating my clients is that they're not just , oh, I, I made more money. They're like, I didn't have to do anything. It's automatically happening. Or I have so much more free time, or I'm feeling more creative right now, or I'm back in my flow.
And that to me is. I think that real freedom, not only for myself, that I'm feeling this flow and freedom in our business, but I also see that for my clients that what I love is I'm helping people get their lives back. I'm helping [00:24:00] people really create an entrepreneurship and journey that is fulfilling on all levels, not just at the expense of working.
Okay. So
Jen: freedom. Freedom is like your main value that you like associate to success. Yeah. What do you think it is that's happening in our, like twenties and thirties that hinder us from seeing freedom as like the main value that we can measure success against?
Lauren: Ooh, that's such a, that's such a layered, , answer I think because I think a lot of it is just society of right, of not questioning.
I think especially in our twenties. We're not, we're still trying to fit in, we're still trying to find ourselves.
Jen: Mm.
Lauren: So I think that it's not until you're in your thirties, I think in your thirties you start questioning, [00:25:00] and I think in your forties and fifties, and especially in your sixties, you're like, right.
So I think there's just a whole different mindset about what is important in life. And it's, I think , it's a journey from inside out, right? So depending on our journey with how comfortable we are within ourselves, because I think if we're still, if we're not comfortable within ourselves and we're relying on others and outside factors, and we're gonna find ways to measure ourselves from that.
And when we're more connected to ourselves, when we are more in tune with ourselves, then we're going to redefine what, what matters. Because we know that it's an internal job.
Jen: Yeah. That's good. I think you're right. I think, yeah, I can see it actually, and I am like, oh, I can really see it when I was in my makeup artist's career.
Yeah. , I do think that a lot of that career was driven by this like internal passion, and it was really my dream job when I was [00:26:00] young. I mean, when I was four, I think it was my dream job to become a makeup artist. And so once I got the job, I was lucky that I actually enjoyed the process mm-hmm. Of everything.
Yeah. Like even down to like dragging my kit up, like two flights of stairs to the subway, . And there was something about. The accolades that you get as a makeup artist mm-hmm. That really like fed my dopamine receptors as somebody who had a DH ADHD and didn't realize it. You know what I mean?
Yeah. Yep. That, and seeing your stuff published and seeing your, your work on big screens and billboards and all of that stuff. And I was literally at some point in my career, killing my body to be able to do this. , not just because. In New York City, you're hustling around all day every day carrying heavy shit.
But I mean, the beauty standard of needing to be super thin myself, because I was around models all day long and no one was telling me like, Hey [00:27:00] Jen, you need to lose weight. But it's one of those like societal pressures that you really feel especially working in that industry. Yeah. In the beauty industry.
So a lot of this like external validation that I was getting in my twenties , and early mid thirties was fueling me enough until the point where I was like, I'm lying to myself. And I, I needed to figure out what that even was. And you saying freedom is so interesting to me. 'cause like I, I don't think that I would've said that when I asked you, I was saying, I wanna know what
Lauren: your definition of success is for now too.
Jen: Okay. Okay. So. Back then, I think that my definition of success was like to become one of the top.
Lauren: Mm-hmm.
Jen: You know what I mean? Top earning. Top.
Lauren: Requested.
Jen: Yeah. Requested. Exactly. Like people know your name.
Lauren: They're like, yeah, Jen Navar, we want Jen Navarro.
Jen: Right, right. The reputation was very important to me, and at this point [00:28:00] I, I think that it's really, success really to me, is feeling fulfilled in my everyday life and being able to follow my energy.
So in a way it's similar to what you're saying, right? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Like, and fulfillment for me isn't coming from this external thing anymore. It's coming from the feeling of , wow, I feel. Really in integrity with what I do for work. Meaning like I don't feel like I'm swindling anybody, manipulating anybody.
I don't have that feeling. And I also don't have the feeling where the work that I'm doing is up for criticism or validation from art directors or creative directors or whatever, you know what I mean? In the fashion industry, I feel like the work that I do is more so on this, on this level of like, is my [00:29:00] client able to do the thing that I am consulting them to do or teaching them how to do?
Do they feel confident in the steps that they're taking? Do they like the process that they're finding themselves in? Is my relationship with my clients something that feels like genuine and on a level of like true closeness? Do I feel actually like close to my clients and. All of that is what I think feels fulfilling to me at this point in my life.
Yeah.
Lauren: You know, I love that. And I, one thing I definitely have noticed with us, Jen, and just the way we talk about our businesses and where our energy is, is we love talking about our client results. And in fact, last year, , I, when I looked back at all of my biggest accomplishments, I think either my number one or my number two actually number, my number one was my love life.
'cause I really opened my heart. And that's a whole other topic. But number two was celebrating my clients' results and the results that my [00:30:00] clients got that year. And that, to me was just so, it just felt so good. And I think it's because it's taken me a lot of time to get here where I'm really know who I am.
I really know exactly what I do, and I know exactly how to do it. And seeing other people really thriving, but not only. You know, having the money and the clients, but really having a life that they light them up. And that's, those are the celebrations where it's like, I just got, you know, like I, and actually one of my, it was like my client, our first meeting right after the holiday season, she's like, I just signed four clients in four days over the holidays and I didn't work at all.
And it's like that freedom of just being able to be at home with my family and I was able to check out and she took a month vacation and before that she was so afraid to leave her clients because she had these stories that her clients needed her. And then helping them see that oh wait, no, there's ways to do it where we're protect, protecting our energy, [00:31:00] but then allow us to show up even better in our businesses and our serve our clients more.
And I think this is just such a, a bigger conversation around success in life and how to build it. Because when we are filling our own cup, when we're doing it away around our energy. It actually benefits way more people. But we have all these stories and these programming and these lies of the old ways that we have to overextend ourselves, which comes from people pleasing imper, perfectionism.
Jen: Yeah, it's huge. Yeah, and I think, I have some friends in their like mid thirties and they're as they're trying to find their way out of perfectionism and people pleasing and. Them having these high levels of self-awareness is so interesting to listen to. Yeah. 'cause I just almost wanna be like, don't worry girl, when you hit 40, you'll be fine.
It's like, you'll all of a sudden not give a shit about half the stuff you think you should be giving a shit about. Right. And I don't know, I was like, maybe it's the amount of psychedelics I've, I don't know. You know what I mean? But truly [00:32:00] the only thing I really care about when I think about caring about what other people think mm-hmm.
Is how my clients feel that they've been taken care of by me. Yeah. That's literally I don't care if I'm popular. I don't care if , whatever people are saying bullshit on my YouTube videos. Honestly, I just like erase those comments. Now I'm, I don't even pay any mind. Yeah. Just like, see you later now.
If there was a client who I worked very closely with who would be like, you know what, I'm really disappointed in the level of service. Yeah. I would really look into that. I mean, that's the only time.
Lauren: Yeah, absolutely. I think that that's one of the things that for me, that I really have, especially in the coaching industry, depending on where what industry you're in is at one point there is this like bubble of just so much coaching and offers and all of that.
And I think that people are getting smarter and being discerning, and I think that they should be. And we, as service providers, we have an [00:33:00] obligation to have to really provide quality service and results and that we're not overextending our promises, that we're actually creating results that are in integrity with ourselves.
And I think that is actually one of my favorite things. And one of the things that I teach my clients, and I actually have a whole course on that called effortless sales and marketing, which is about being your authentic self being so an integrity with yourself that you've built a business and offers that, an extension of it.
So it feels. Very good. You're not trying to overextend, and we've all seen stories of like business owners or businesses that ended up falling under or, you know, scandal happened. , there's like things where like they aren't really, , the thing I'm thinking about is, , oh gosh, Rachel Hollis giving like marriage advice when her, like when her, I, sorry, we didn't need to laugh, but like that kind, that's what we're talking about,
This is once again, another, I think level of success or a definition of success is that when your business and your offers and how you're running your business is integrity, there's a certain level of ease that you're [00:34:00] not worried because you're not worried that , oh, somebody's gonna complain or some, you know, something's going, or I'm gonna forget the lie that I told everyone.
Oh . It's like when your integrity with yourself. I also think that there's such a different level of ease and a certain level of integrity and I, you know, was in sales for 20 years and I remember. I was sold for all different types of companies, and the best salespeople were the people that truly believed in it and were in integrity with what they sold because they weren't.
That people can feel when, when it's off, people can feel when they're like lying or trying to manipulate. So being able to sell from a place of integrity and soul, from a place of true authenticity is such a beautiful, amazing feeling too.
Jen: Yeah. I have a teacher who calls it putting lipstick on a pig and she is staunchly against it and it's great because I am honestly staunchly against it too.
Yeah. I just have never really like, like to hear the way that she will drill down on her clients. Yeah. So [00:35:00] she's like this, I'm gonna call her like a master brand strategist. Mm-hmm. I don't think she would call herself that, but she absolutely is one of the top brand strategists in Sweden for the last 20 years.
And. She would have, you know, facilitation and these workshops with these huge CEO C-suites and call them out on their bullshit. , actually, I don't know if there's a real reason that your business should exist. You know? And it's like, I'm not here to make your business look good. I'm here to share what the authentic heart and soul of this company really is.
We're uncovering it. I'm not here to greenwash your business and make it seem like you're doing something sustainable when you're actually not. And like her just saying that she's about 10 years older than me, I'm like, wow, this reinforces everything that I now believe. And that felt really good too.
Mm-hmm. You know?
Lauren: Yeah. And I think this is, I love, I love this conversation because I think that it's. [00:36:00] These small shifts that we make as how we're even looking at success, that is then gonna change the way that people are even running money. I mean, running businesses where they're not chasing the money, where there's more important things that actually matter, which then I think creates more sustainable businesses, ethical businesses, in long running businesses, and then also impacts people in better ways.
So I think it's really this beautiful shift that benefits
Jen: everybody. I'm gonna say something that I think is a little bit , I would've never said this like in my mid thirties. Mm-hmm. Early thirties even. What is, I'm dying to hear. What is it? Well, I had this realization after like living in Mexico for two years now.
Mm-hmm. Mellow maybe a little over two years, i, after my business had shut down in 2022, was like desperate to figure a way to just survive. Mm-hmm. And so getting two jobs and like I even had to save up to move to that place in Saul Lita. Yeah, I remember that. We figured out, okay, I could, I [00:37:00] could rent the place starting in this month.
So I had three months to save enough money to prepay my rent basically. 'cause I was like, I lost all kinds of self-trust. Yeah. I was like, I don't know if I know how to make money anymore. Honestly, it was just like crumbled. , and after going through the journey of figuring that piece out, moving to Mexico, realizing, okay, I'm actually gonna stay in Mexico and continue living in Mexico and finding this apartment.
Really stable myself with just like the basics. And when I say basics, I mean Amber and I moved into this place and had a bed and a rug. Yeah. We were eating and plants and 27 plants and 27 7 plants. Yes. A bed, a rug. And 27 plants. Yes. The plants were very,
Lauren: very important. They had their priorities straight, by the way.
Yes.
Jen: But it was like one of the most freeing feelings to be like, oh my goodness, I don't have to make $50,000 once or $25,000 months. I need [00:38:00] to make enough to live. And I can just actually sit back and enjoy my life here. I can go to so many different events here in Mexico City that are free, that are affordable to participate in.
The food is affordable here. I can cook some beautiful things in my very simple kitchen. And I was just like, wow. The simplicity of my life here does not require tens of thousands of dollars to be made every single month for me to survive and live a, I'm thriving and live a high
Lauren: quality
Jen: life. Exactly. Oh, that's what it is.
I had this realization one day. I was like, oh, we're not . Striving to make the most money we've ever made. Everybody really is just striving for what they believe is a high quality life. And when I realized that my, quality of life could be so high and in comparison to the my past version [00:39:00] of what this quality of life feels like, it's , wow, it wasn't as expensive as I once thought.
Lauren: Right.
Jen: You know?
Lauren: Yeah. And I'm
Jen: saying, okay, so caveat, I'm saying this from Mexico City, which is an expensive part of Mexico. So to everybody who's listening, who's like, it's expensive there. Yes, it is. And it is still much more affordable than my life was in Miami by comparison and by, uh, Amber's life in Maui.
By comparison. Hawaii's very expensive. Yeah. Especially right now. So I'm not trying to say that this is all just due to me being over 40. This is . Many choices that I've made Yeah. Intentionally to get to this point where my life would feel like this. Yeah, absolutely.
Lauren: And I think it's the letting go.
And we were talking about this this morning where my life right now looks nothing like I thought it was gonna look a year ago. Mm-hmm. Two years ago, five years ago. Right. , it's this like evolution of [00:40:00] letting go of the rules or like letting go of what society thinks we should do. Mm-hmm. And I think that the more that we, that I, and what Jen have allowed ourselves to just be like, no, I think I'm gonna, I, I don't think I'm gonna do that anymore.
I think I'm gonna do this. It's, it's like these small little micro decisions that over time have led us here. Mm-hmm. And also. I wanna remind you guys, of all the ups and downs that me and Jen went to to get here, I have had been in business for eight, for eight years and I've had a successful business for eight years.
But successful business all that time didn't look like always having money. Sometimes that successful business was making very little bit of money and still feeling abundant, and still feeling good and still being okay and not giving up.
Jen: Yeah.
Lauren: Right. So this is not what Yeah. The realization actually.
Right. And
Jen: that's what had this realization. Yeah, go ahead. My, I was miserable when I was, so I started as a buyer in New York City in like [00:41:00] 2007, like a little bit after college. And everybody in my family was like, oh my God, double worst product. You know what I mean? Like they're, Jen living can see that, by the way, York City, you know?
And I was like, yeah, but I secretly hated that job. Can you imagine like a desk? Can you imagine me sitting at a, I can barely sit here. No, I'm like, I'm a squiggly wiggly. You know what I mean? I would fall asleep at my desk. Yeah. I'd fall asleep in meetings with my department head. It was horrendous. I was surprised I wasn't fired from that job, but I decided in 2009 to quit my job and go to makeup school.
Mm-hmm. And I was already old at that time. Mm-hmm. I remember being like 27 and thinking, oh my God, I'm so old. 'cause I was like the oldest one in my class with a bunch of like 18 and 21 year olds. Yeah. And I was like, I don't care. I'm gonna make it. And I did makeup school, I got a job part-time at Mac.
. And I was building my [00:42:00] portfolio with these like student films and student photo shoots, like on the side at nights, on weekends. I was working so hard and that year I made $17,000 and I was so fulfilled.
Lauren: Yeah.
Jen: Yes.
Lauren: And that's it. Where it's success can be as easy as , you're getting to do what you love to do.
It doesn't have to be measured in like, all of this money. And I, and , it's sometimes I feel like there's this dichotomy within my personal business because ultimately, like I help people make money, but I do it in a way that lights 'em up. So maybe it doesn't make as much money if they were to like hustle or do some of these, like get rich fast schemes.
But that's at a cost of integrity or your soul or hustling. Mm-hmm. And I think that we're seeing that there is a whole other way to build a business. That you're enjoying the process, you're doing it the way you want, and you're connected. And, and I'm saying this to you as I'm having to remind myself all the time, 'cause I'm so ambitious.
I have a [00:43:00] big, big old vision. And this one right here is constantly reminding me, being like, wait, you're exactly where you need to be. Mm-hmm. And I think that it's a constant. Reminder and it's a constant, , checking in with myself being like, oh, no. Like, we're good right now.
Jen: Mm-hmm. We're,
Lauren: we're okay. And I think even with all of the ups and downs, the core coming, the, the core of that is the freedom and is the, the amazing feeling of being able to come back to myself knowing that I'm okay and I can figure it out no matter what.
Jen: Yeah. That is gold. Literal gold. Yeah. And when we die, we don't die with all the money in the grave with us, you know? Yeah. And so, like, being able to even have that feeling is literal gold. Like, yeah. Would you, okay, so this is so fun. I had a class with my Spanish teacher the other day, and yes, I am taking Spanish at 41.
I love learning new things. Anyways, so we [00:44:00] had watched this video. Mm-hmm. It was in Spanish, very hard for me to understand. It was like Spanish for Spain. When I'm learning Mexican Spanish, there is a difference. For those of you who know, if you know, you know, and the question mm-hmm. She asked me before we watched the movie was, if you could make money for selling your memories mm-hmm.
Or selling your experiences mm-hmm. Would you sell them? And once you sell them, you no longer have access to it? Oh, no. No. Okay. So if you would make like $250,000 for a memory of your choice, like you could choose a memory that you could sell. Oh, I could. I'd sell a bad one.
Lauren: I'll sell some of the ex, my ex-boyfriend's ones.
It's, so why? 'cause like, okay, so
Jen: the, it was a short film that we watched and it was just like. I feel like this is gonna stay in my head forever. Now. It's funny 'cause it was just happened in a Spanish class, but the girl in the movie, not to give you a spoiler, [00:45:00] I don't know if any of you're gonna even find this, you know what I mean?
As Yeah. Like you're gonna find that Jen. Right. She ended up selling so many memories and the way that our memories work are, is there so much overlap? Mm-hmm. That we don't even realize is there that she sold memories that erased her husband's face and she didn't realize and so interesting. I was so sad.
She was feeling okay because of the money that she would see come into her bank account. Mm-hmm. But one day she had this realization and her husband like calls her, she's out to lunch with her girlfriend. She comes home and she's like, oh, because her husband said, oh, I'm home. Mm-hmm. She's , rush is home.
She walks in, she sees like some dude, and then she walks and is calling him around the house, and he's like, what are you doing? I'm here. And she's like, where are you? No, you're not. She the guy who she thought was like her butler. Mm-hmm. Somebody working for her was her husband. She just had erased his face because one of the [00:46:00] memories was the first time she realized like, oh, it's him.
That's the one that's my husband. I was like, that's, oh, it gave me so many goose months. I was like, oh my God. I would never even realize that. 'cause yeah. No matter how many times you like see this person, right? Yeah. I have this Yeah. Imprinted memory. And actually me, uh, Lauren showed it to me the other day of the first time, , we met.
Yeah. And I, I do remember , I think both of us were crying. Yes. We were just like meeting each other, you know? Yeah. In
Lauren: person. Yeah. Oh man. That's. Really , a very interesting thing to think about. 'cause it's, it doesn't come down to , it's just all money. I think one of the, the freedoms is, is you don't need to have all the money in the world, but if you can rely on your a, you can rely on yourself and you always know how to make money and you're enjoying the process.
, that's all you need. You just need to know how to like, make what you need right now. So you don't need a ton. Yeah. And I, however, I do, however, I do think that if you want a lot of money, you should go for it. That's hundred percent right? We're not saying , don't, but we're saying that it gets to be [00:47:00] like the icing on the cake and the fun part.
And that's really, and and that's actually the, the energy of money when we really want it and we really graspy it. It doesn't come, but when we're care, when we're just kind of like, oh, it, it could be there and not be there, that's when the, the money's gonna come. That's when the freedom's there because you're not doing it because you need it.
My money was
Jen: coming when I really needed it and really wanted it though. Yeah. Like with that job. Yeah. You know what I mean? So I'm gonna say something contrasting a little bit. 'cause I think that I have in the past few years, like reorganized for myself in my mind at least like the way that I think about money.
Like, I have definitely made it much more of a tangible thing in my mind. Meaning like I know the steps towards it. Yep. And how to manage it a little bit better. Mm-hmm. I'm not the best still, I'm still learning, but I [00:48:00] know that yes, there's an energy to making money and also there are some practical Yeah.
Like steps and it's like you can't make one more important than the other.
Lauren: No, they're, they're, they are both. Because you have to have the belief that you can take the action to do it is what it comes down to it. But you have to have the action For sure. Yeah, we are not here smoking hopium or burning incense, singing Kumbaya, trying to like, oh, just hope it appears.
Hope it
Jen: manifesting
Lauren: it out,
Jen: nothing.
Lauren: However, I do believe in manifestation and energy and that is a huge piece of it. And it's interesting because you know, I look at my clients and I look at the work that I do and so much of it once again comes back to the energetics. But the energetics isn't necessarily , oh, I believe it.
I believe it. It's actually comes from a place of safety, right? Of actually feeling safe in your body. 'cause that's when you talk about, and I've seen Jen go through this, right? Where like, you know, making your own [00:49:00] money and then going work for somebody else, you found that safety inside of you. Yeah, that's true.
It gonna help me. And that's really what we're talking when I'm talking about energy, like we'll bring this like back to the practical part is finding the safety inside of yourself. And that's in general in life. Like that, coming back to success and coming back to. What really matters in the end is it's that internal job, and when we can feel safe, then we can thrive, then we can be in creative, then we can be in our flow.
Yeah. Right. So there's a whole energetic level that has to come to feel safe for then all of this to come together. And then success is built on that.
Jen: And, okay, so this, yeah, like going along with the theme of like success in your forties. I don't think I actually even understood that in my twenties and thirties.
Yeah. Meaning like what does it mean to feel safe? What does it mean to have a calm and and stabilized nervous system? Yeah. Like what does that feel like? I think that I had through many different like avenues of conditioning. Mm-hmm. Like [00:50:00] just learned to live with my nervous system, like always on high alert.
Yeah. And so the level of stress that always was running through my veins Yeah. Like never allowed me to get to that point of safety where I could just like actually. Sit in stillness and in calm, you know? That actually, I think it in a way helped when I was like hustling as a makeup artist, hustling in my coaching business.
Hustling. But it's not the only way. And at that point in time, I did think it was the only way. Yeah. I really thought like, oh, this is the way that I need to make money. I, me and Amber had a fight where one day I was like so mad at myself. And like, I think Lauren is literally the only person who actually knows us outside of Amber, because I would call her when I would be like, I'm trying to run this, this, um, launch.
Mm-hmm. And no one's buying, and I don't know what I'm doing wrong because I was taking all the action steps. Right. And there was something very [00:51:00] off. Yep. And then I was mad at Amber and I was like, yell at me or something. I, I needed her to , put pressure on me to do this thing. Mm-hmm. And she's like, I will never yell at you.
She's like, the only thing I'll ever yell at you is how much I love you. Aw. And I was like, but aha. You know? 'cause I didn't know how to operate outside of pressure. Right. 'cause
Lauren: Exactly. And I think that's again, what's is like this twenties and thirties and redefining success in our forties. That's why embodiment work and getting in our bodies and getting safe and like even just breathing and meditation.
Mm-hmm. And thinking of the other part of ourselves than just the action part. And our mind part, I think is so key. And that's when we're really able to connect to what I call like our soul consciousness. We're not just our minds, we're not just our programming. There's a whole part of us that is God's source, universe, whatever you wanna call that.
That is that flow state, that zone of genius. When we get into us and we're like in that place, that feels good. How we really access that is through safety, is through feeling in [00:52:00] our body. And I think that that is, once again, this like big shift that me and you have made is we are less in our heads and more in our bodies and our hearts.
A hundred percent.
Jen: I think it's like very easy for me to get back into my head. And so it is a conscious practice at this point. Yep. Every day.
Lauren: Every
Jen: day
Lauren: I do it. I have to remind myself. Yeah. Yeah. Every day I teach this, I teach embodiment, I teach 'em all of the things. And I have to use my tools every day to remind myself , oh wait, the why, the reason why we're doing this is not for those metrics.
I, I'm constantly bringing myself back because I, I'm, it's still new to me, right? It's still in the last couple years, this big shift, but I'm still having to pull myself all the time. \ and I just wanna \ let you guys know that if you're like it, it's constantly reminding ourselves that we're, we're okay.
They're coming back to this moment right now.
Jen: Yeah. And I think, um, interestingly enough, it kind of aligns too with [00:53:00] what I used to be like just as a person in my twenties and thirties, escapism. Was the name of the game, you know what I mean? Dissociating, and , yes, to a certain extent. There was a point in my life where dissociation was actually serving me.
And what I mean by that is like if I needed to operate in a space to just get through it and get out of it or whatever, it would've might've been to dissociate and go wherever. My, my defense mechanism was taking me was the only way that I knew how to, and it worked for the time being. Yeah.
But in the process of healing, right? In the process of coming back to myself and landing in my body and feeling okay to be here and safe to be here now, it was really emotional. Well, for me at least, I would, I spent most of 2022 crying. Yeah. And a lot of 2023 crying, honestly.
Lauren: Yeah. Yeah. And, and, and [00:54:00] that's.
To me, that's the release, that's the layers of us that we sometimes have to face so that we can really get to the core of what's in inside of us. And there is, once again, I think as we get older, we have a settling with inside of us, we have more of , a desire to like truly do more fulfilling work, right?
We're, we're not checking off boxes. I think that if you're listening to this podcast, there's something inside of you that is wanting more than just that typical Yes. Typical, right? So it requires, and I wanna, we're gonna start wrapping this up here, but you know, I think that for me right now too, and, and one of the most valuable things that I've learned and that has gotten me the farthest and that will end up leading me to all the success I want in the, in this world, which is in every moment being able to choose differently if I need to.
So instead of being stuck in my old ways, instead of. , just [00:55:00] going with the flow, being willing to stop being willing to get in, being able to discern, is this my mind? Is this my, am I being led and making more decisions from my heart, making more decisions from the internal, knowing that I'm already enough?
And that shift feels so good. Wow. It's so true. Yeah. Yeah. And it's that, and that's small. And that's, and this is what I say to all my clients all the time, is the res where you're at right now and where you wanna go, it's generally a small little energetic shift. It's not in more action, it's in more, it's sometimes it's just a little bit of a, a shift that we have to make in order to get there.
Jen: Yeah. That's so true. And you know, I have to say this before we close out, like I think that you probably already know this since you're listening to us, and maybe you've listened to our past podcast, but I. Neither of us live a very typical 40-year-old [00:56:00] American woman's life. Yeah. And that does come with and come from a lot of privilege.
Mm-hmm. And I just wanna acknowledge that too, because I know it can feel, especially if you're on the other side of this. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. It can feel very discouraging to listen to a conversation like this and think , well, that's never going to be me. That can't be me. And I will say that both of us did have a moment where we had to make that choice.
Yeah. Because we could have been, you could have been in San Diego and I could have been in Miami. Yeah. And we could have been with whatever prospective husbands we might have been with. Yeah. Maybe I would've even had a kid who knows. We could be having this podcast like from Miami and San Diego remotely.
Yeah. But we made very distinctive distinguishing choices that put our lives on the path of. [00:57:00] Atypical, and here's where we ended up. And I think what we're really discussing right now is , how did we get to this point of happy? How did we get to this point of fulfillment and , what does it actually take to hit this level of success?
And it's not what you think it's gonna be, it's something completely different. And I hope that what we're doing here is really uncovering
Lauren: that for you. Exactly. And tying it back to that, sometimes it's just a smallest little shift. It's the smallest little decision. It's the smallest little commitment that then builds on itself.
. It doesn't have to happen hasn't it doesn't have to be this like, oh, I have to go sell my stuff and move to Mexico or Right. , we don't like that. It's, it's the smallest thing where in the moment, instead of coming home and putting on the tv, you're like taking some breaths and like listening to yourself or taking a minute to go do some coloring before you go create the real.
Jen: Yeah.
Lauren: It's the small little shifts that, it's literally that, and I see this all the time with myself and with my clients, is that. We sometimes think we have to do too much. And like the doing too much comes from the [00:58:00] old programming of trying to prove. But when you're in this place of like, oh, I'm enough right now and there's just a small little thing I have to do and that's gonna be enough, that is gonna be a reality.
And it's these small shifts over and over and over again. And also willing to do some hard, like making some hard emotional decisions. And I think that's
Jen: hard. The
Lauren: hard part in our businesses is not like hustling. It's the energetic, emotional decisions that we have to, that we make that go against the grain.
Jen: A woman.
Lauren: Well, thank you for tuning into another episode. This is as always so much fun. So fun. So fun and truly we're, we're so happy that you're here with us and you're like our third best friend.
Jen: We'll see you next time.