Episode 4
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Lauren: Glass
Jen: is inces.
Lauren: We are back for another episode and we actually, yesterday we took a day off. So for those that don't know, I am down in Mexico City for six days and we are recording all of the episodes for this season. And yesterday was a fun day and we got to bike around Mexico City.
Jen: So for those of you listening to this.
The audio version we're actually, this is a video podcast as well, so you could find us on Spotify and on YouTube. For the visual version, the video version of the podcast. So if you hear me clinking around today, it's because I'm having my special drinks. It's a dandelion tea latte. So now you know,
Lauren: and a [00:04:00] little fun fact about Jen is she loves having fun, special drinks.
It's. Like her, her almost like your hobby and your joy. She has like these special cups and the special spoon, I mean the special straws. And my favorite part is she has an ice machine just for her special ice, which I am obsessed with ice, so it's really convenient for me too. And every morning I wake up and she has ice, fresh ice waiting for me.
Jen: I do. It's true. I've been making Lauren her special ice every single morning. So.
Friendship.
Lauren: Yes. I hope everyone has a friend like Jen,
Jen: and I hope everybody has a friend like Lauren.
Lauren: And if not you have us,
Jen: you're a third business bestie, so.
Lauren: Exactly. So, hello. Hey friend. Okay, so today,
Jen: today we're talking about authenticity, showing up as yourself, um, and self-expression. Yeah. One of our favorite [00:05:00] topics to discuss, and not just here for you all, but we talk about this on the phone.
Lauren: Yeah. And it's really actually fun to think, Jen, of how far both me and you have come in our businesses with our. Not only just being ourselves and our authenticity, but then also really about how we express ourselves and really finding our voice. And so if you're starting off in your business or if you've been doing this for a while, just know that these conversations and what we're coming at you after what we're talking to you to today is from eight years of really practicing and refining and having fun with it.
And. Evolving to where it feels really authentic and fun. Now,
Jen: man, I first, let's address the elephant in the room. The word authenticity. I think we just have to talk about it real quick before we jump into the subject. Mm-hmm. Just because like it is one of these buzzwords that can lose its [00:06:00] meaning and in a lot of spaces has, and some people even feel real.
Icky about the word because there's a lot of people selling authenticity now at this point. Right? And so what I wanna say about it is that it's a hard concept to fully wrap your mind around because what even is authenticity except for what we're believing. Our authentic self really is. And then layered on top of that, how are we expressing that about ourselves?
And to a certain extent, there's always a little percentage of performance happening whenever we're going into spaces of self-expression. Like here on the podcast, right? We can't fully just be in a being ourselves mode because, well, let's face it, especially as like Gen X slash millennial we're, we're kind of like on that borderline.[00:07:00]
Mm-hmm. We weren't taught to just turn a camera on in our faces when we're in the middle of a crisis, like Gen Z kind of does and Gen Alpha does so readily, right? Yeah. So like. Even though we try to take down as many layers as we can of this performance or this, any feeling that feels inauthentic, like there's still an underlying like undertone of performance in there.
I think it just something we can't get rid of as humans.
Lauren: Well, absolutely. Especially as soon as you put like hit record or, or you are recording, you put it out there. For everyone to see. And I think that's so much of the work is it's not just connecting to ourselves and really getting down to who we are in our authentic selves, but there's a whole other layer that happens in our minds, whereas we're worried about what other people are gonna think and see.
Mm-hmm. Right. And so I think there's a couple layers of not just even finding it and being able to be like, okay, this is who I really am. But then putting that out there for other [00:08:00] people to see can be very vulnerable. And that's where. I think a lot of us hold back because we're so concerned about feeling rejected or what other people are gonna see or being canceled.
And so there, that's part of this work of being an entrepreneur and being a content creator is really learning how to feel safe with being yourself and being seen.
Jen: Yes, that's it. I think like the more safe we feel, the less. Pretending we have to do Yeah. The less performance we have to do. And, and even if you are like a performer, right?
Like there's that piece of you like Beyonce, Sasha Fierce right? Is like a piece of her. Mm-hmm. It's not like she's Beyonce. Like on the couch eating Cheetos, Beyonce, on stage. You know what I mean? She becomes this alter ego, which I think is an alter ego that is actually [00:09:00] authentic to her. Yeah. 'cause her performances are so consistently good in high quality that it does seem authentically.
Like a piece of her is being expressed when she becomes Sasha Fierce. Right? Yeah.
Lauren: So true. And I think that, I know that for myself in this evolution of, oh, actually, man, I remember this. So before I even got certified as a life coach and even left my corporate job, this was when YouTube was just, I mean, YouTube was already going in some video.
Formats were starting to pick up. And I remember being like, okay, if I'm gonna do this, 'cause I knew I wanted to be seen, I knew I wanted to be on video. I used to like practice, I used to set up like a little studio and I used to just take top topics of like other coaches. 'cause at that point I didn't have my own thoughts or like I was still learning.
So I would pick a topic and then go listen to other people's podcasts and come up with like a [00:10:00] little, uh, thing to say and I'd practice recording him and the other. Probably like four months ago, I found these, I found these, um, the files, the files of my very first videos where on my computer I have 'em.
I actually will show you. How
Jen: long, how old is your computer? Sorry. I mean, I, I have,
Lauren: I have things stored really well, so. Ultimately, I like looked back and I was like, oh my gosh. Because there was like, I was literally performing, right? Like I had like the special shirt, you know, I, I like wore the professional shirt that I wouldn't really normally wear.
And just like a, the lighting, you, Jen, you're gonna die if you, when you see these, the lighting. The lighting is horrible. But I tell this story to say that I knew that I was not naturally good. At just getting in front of a camera and, and speaking from my heart, right? There was always a little bit of this performative.
There was always a little bit of [00:11:00] a what I look like, you guys. I've really struggled with my body image in my life. And so b seeing myself on camera was very hard in the beginning, and I still have moments where I struggl. Um, but I just did it. You know, I just showed up and I practiced and it was, it was not good at first.
But after doing it hundreds and maybe even thousands of times now, I've learned a level of just settled a subtleness in me. Like, okay, this is just part of my job. This is just who I am. And it's been fun now that I get to feel comfortable to let let you guys all in. And I say this because this didn't come natural for me right away, right?
Like it was literally years and years and years and years. And I'm still learning. And if you, in your soul, you know that you're meant to share a message or [00:12:00] your voice or stories, or you're an actor or your whatever, it is a model you wanna be seen that desire, that knowing is meant for you, but it's your ability to really overcome a lot of your programming and some of this like need to feel safe.
That really is. Often in our way
Jen: of fully showing up. Wow, that's so beautiful. I mean like how like full circle, does that feel, you know, to have found those files? Yeah. And like you probably already know this since you're listening to the pod, to the podcast, but there's something about Lauren that is just so tenacious about
being in her, in her business because like friend that you just practicing to be able to do it is, it just shows like over how many years have you been practicing. Yeah. You know what I mean? And to me that is [00:13:00] actual like real authenticity to be like, okay. I'm gonna show up however I am right now and I'm gonna continue to keep on showing up.
And maybe you'll see the pro, the progression of who I become over time. Yeah. But I'm just gonna like give it my best for what I've got. Like whatever lighting or, or
Lauren: microphones or whatever you had back then. Right. And it was enough, and I remember because I started doing some. Facebook mess, you know, Facebook, um, videos.
I had a small YouTube video channel, and I'd get like, just random messages from strangers being like, this is what I needed to hear. And it's just like, oh, like this really matters when you go out there. It's, it's not about a hundred percent being perfect. However, I am so impressed with Jen and her commitment to.
Really learning the technology and set and having like, beautiful setups. She has really helped me take my presentation. You know, I'm like really comfortable with being in front of a camera, but I could [00:14:00] pick up my iPhone and like make a, uh, make a video and then post it and Jen's like, where's the lighting?
You know? So I think that, you know, there's different pieces that come, but no matter where you're at, just start. I did it messily, and I learned and it gets better and better and better. And that's really what it's about. It's about doing it. And I always like to give this example of, you know, somebody who wants to learn how to surf, they can watch YouTube videos, they can read a book, but until they go out there and get in the water and do it, there's gonna be a lot of fumbling and a lot of like lessons and learning.
And that's exactly with not only just. Learning how to be your authentic self in front of others. Mm-hmm. But also expressing yourself and learning how to really find your voice and talk to your people. So it, it is a, a path of self-discovery and also learning how [00:15:00] to be uncomfortable and do it anyways, even when it's scary, man.
Jen: That's it though, for real. You know, because like speaking of surfing, like I've heard that analogy before and then until I actually tried to surf. Yeah. Have you ever tried to surf? Oh yeah,
Lauren: definitely. I got my, like I got hit in the head with a surfboard. Yeah.
Jen: I couldn't stand up and I was like on the super long board and Amber was like on the back of the board.
Yeah. And I was just like, I was probably surfing in like two feet of water. Yeah. You know, and it's so vulnerable to just be like, I'm really just bad at this right now.
Lauren: Yeah.
Jen: You know, especially if you're like a perfectionist at all, which I would definitely consider myself like a perfectionist, I would say the word recovering, but that would assume that I am beyond like that tendency.
And I don't think I am, but, but I wanna stop. I'm so
Lauren: sorry to stop you, but I. This is so huge because I bet there's so many [00:16:00] people listening right now that are the same. Like we're, I think it's our generation of wanting to be perfect or having to prove ourselves. And so when we are put, and I see this so much with my clients, that the thing that really holds them back is they're like waiting to be perfect or they're waiting for the right time.
And I think that is really hindering our ability to show up and practice being our full selves. And you just gotta, you just gotta do it. Like the, the doing it is a thing that breaks it, that then allows you to get better.
Jen: Yeah. I mean, that's absolutely true, right? Like, I, I saw it a lot when I was, uh, running the program inside of the hub.
Mm-hmm. Because I took note, there's a lot of students in the hub that were in my age range. Mm-hmm. Or like slightly older, some slightly younger, but. It was a group of professionals and entrepreneurs who just really, really cared about what they did with their businesses and who they [00:17:00] were in their businesses.
And it's so easy to let just that be the hangup. Mm-hmm. On Okay. I, I don't have the perfect lighting or sound or camera angles yet. Yeah. But like that's, I think that's what I'm saying is like, I really admire that about you. You know what I mean? Because like. I think it was years and years of being in the fashion industry that did, that, did this to me, which isn't bad.
I, I, I am grateful for the skills because I get to, like, help my clients with that part so that they don't have to get into this perfectionism state. Yeah. And they can know, they look and sound professional, right. As soon as they start posting their content, whatever it might be. Right. You know, so it helps adding
Lauren: to their confidence to like really look at and feel it.
And I think that is a huge part of it too. And I want, I do wanna say like, this is still something I'm working on. I still have moments where I feel like I'm being performative. And me and you [00:18:00] actually had a conversation about this, which then really made us wanna talk about this because it's going back to.
What makes it performative versus just you being your authentic self is, I think it's really about the intention and your energy behind it. Mm.
Jen: Yeah. I think you're right. I think like something about the performance. And so just to clarify, like I'm not talking about like performers on stage right now.
Yeah. We're talking, we're talking about if you're somebody who's putting out content to like spread the word about your business mm-hmm. You know, spread awareness, then you can come at it from so many different angles. But when, when Lauren's saying like, you know, there's times when you're still performative and it depends on your intention.
The thing that I know about Lauren is that. No matter how you slice it, her intention is just of the utmost integrity. She has never once like given me the feeling or the vibe that she's trying to manipulate anybody. She really [00:19:00] just deeply wants to help everyone who comes into her space, and I see the help that her clients get, and so.
Like just being that nuanced about like, am I showing up in performance? Am I just come from, you know, like times when you're feeling low in your business? Yeah. And you feel like you are in a desperate mode. And we all go through that as entrepreneur. So like her picking up on it is just like, you know, really it should be really eye-opening because I think we can all get to that point where we're like, oh yeah, I am.
You know what I mean? Yeah. I am in a performance right now 'cause I really need something.
Lauren: Right. And I think, oh this is, thank you for going down this road because I think what it this stems from is I really care. And what I know about you if you're watching this, is that you really care. Right. And it's those that we're not necessarily like business-minded or like driven towards that profit.
There's a whole bigger reason for why we're doing what we're doing. [00:20:00] And. It's the connection to ourselves, our souls, our our happiness that we really are trying to share with other people. So we're not trying to do things like everybody else, right? We're, we're coming from a whole different place. And when you really care and you're even thinking about like, am I coming off salesy?
Am I like, how am I coming off? It's, that's a good thing because you actually are our level of self-awareness now. What I see gets in our way is that we get too in our head around it. Mm-hmm. And we allow ourselves to stick there and just think about it instead of actually taking the action. Mm-hmm. Right.
So it's okay. Even me, I've been doing this for eight years. I've done hundreds of podcast episodes and I still get in my head about little things. So I say this to normalize it, that this is just the way that it is and this is the work that I do with myself and my clients, is. Learning how to shift out of it, which is the emotional release, right?
So when the fear comes up or when the doubt, [00:21:00] whatever that, whatever, whenever we're not taking an action, whenever we're not speaking our mind, we're never, we're not doing the thing we really wanna do. There's always an emotion in the way. And so I'm gotten really good at stopping. Feeling my emotions, clearing my emotions so that then I'm able to get into a place where I feel very safe and very grounded and in that spa space, then I take action.
So yes, I'm doing it scared, but I'm pausing before taking the action and actually shifting the energy so that when I'm doing it, it's coming from a very clean place and I'm not actually in my emotions. I'm able to move it. And I think that there is a balance of. Doing it in a way where it feels like flow.
Because often when me and Jen are having these conversations, we are very much in flow, but it takes practice to learn how to shift into that, to that place. And it's through our body, it's through our emotions, it's getting in our body. And when we can lock in and we can get out of our head and we get out of our head, we're freely speaking and that's when people can really
Jen: [00:22:00] feel you.
I think that, um, as you were saying that I was. I, I was thinking of like a counterpoint, not, I wasn't trying to think of a counterpoint, but it just popped into my mind. Mm-hmm. Just because of like the observations that I do for my job, in my job. Right. Yeah. Like of just how different creators, um, influencers, people who show up on social media, how they handle having emotions.
While they're filming themselves. Mm-hmm. You know, and I, I did this test actually with myself because I, I made this observation before I did the test, and it was that very much more often than not, it's the younger generations who will allow themselves to have whatever emotion that they're having.
Without needing to like clear it out or shift their energy or anything. And they can just turn on [00:23:00] the, the, the camera and speak from where they're at. Sad, angry, happy, giddy. Like on a manic Yeah. Sort of spree. And, and they can just like be in their emotion while they are filming and then posting this content.
And so I was like, oh, there's. No, they don't feel the need to, need to shift out of an emotion. Right. Or do anything to shift outta the emotion. So the test that I did with myself was I, I knew that I wanted to see if I could do it. Mm-hmm. Like show up in a piece of content, really, really raw. I didn't know how it was gonna happen.
'cause I knew that I would have to catch myself in a raw emotion to be able to like do this piece of content. I guess I asked the universe for the opportunity is what actually happened. And so, and then the universe delivered. Oh, always. Yes. Which does it not, you know what I mean? I am the universe. [00:24:00] So last year when I had first moved to Mexico City, I was going to buy a phone to put a my Mexican number on.
Mm-hmm. And I was just in this space where I was like trying not to spend. Egregious amounts of money on things that I didn't need. 'cause I literally didn't have any furniture in my house and I just needed a phone number to be able to tie certain things to, you know this. Yeah. Living abroad. So I found this phone on Facebook marketplace.
Mm-hmm. And Amber and I went to go pick it up, buy it from these people. Long story short, I got scammed. I'm not saying this is because it's Mexico, it's not. People get scammed everywhere, all over the world. So this has nothing to do with like what Mexican people are like, or what Mexico as a country is like.
I just wanna put that out there. Make sure everybody knows. Yes. You know? So we love Mexico by the way, if you don't mind. Yeah, exactly. Access with Mexico. Exactly. So I got scammed. I now counted as my gringo tax. Yeah, right. For moving to the city. Fine. Whatever. [00:25:00] But I was so upset. It was very much violating and broke my trust in that moment.
And like Ang, I was angry, not just at the person who had scammed me, but angry at myself for falling into the scam so much. So much so that I was just like really upset and crying. Yeah. And something in my brain was like, here's the opportunity. To share your experience online. I grab my phone and I am sobbing and I just like share the story on TikTok.
I remember this by the way, and I close my phone and just put it aside. Don't even think about it, like not even an hour later. My phone is a blowing up. I open the phone and there's like 60,000 views on this thing and it's climbing and I'm getting all kinds of comments and the comments in the moment because I was still in that emotion [00:26:00] hurt.
You know what I mean? Yeah. They were like, I was like, oh my God, these are people like calling me stupid and calling me out and telling me it's my fault and blah, blah blah, and go back to your own country, and I'm like, valid. Now. Back then I was like, how dare you? You know what I mean? So hurt. But I'm gonna say two things.
One, it worked. Yeah. Showing up in my raw, authentic, and real emotion. Worked on social media as I had suspected that it would. And number two, like I took a moment in that moment to. To think about, like, is this the way that I wanna show my authenticity? Mm-hmm. Because we still have a choice. Being authentic doesn't mean just showing up raw all the time.
Yeah. No matter what, you're still allowed to use filters. And I don't mean like facial filters 'cause I use no facial filters. You are allowed to use those too, but like. You are allowed to decide [00:27:00] how much you're going to let people in to your energy, to your space, to your story, and you don't have to be all the way on this other side to show up authentically.
Lauren: Totally. Oh, I love that. I love, love, love that you told that story because it's true and I it is not a counter at all. It's a, and it's a, mm-hmm. Yes, you can learn how to move out of your emotions and post, and you can learn how to post raw and authentically. And I know that from working with my clients and just the work that we've done, the more in our emotions, no matter if they're positive or negative, that connects.
People can feel that. Totally. Right? Totally. And that's like, that's what we're saying. So it's like, even if. You know, that's, that's the authenticity. And you know, we live in a law of attraction world. And I see this all the time where, you know, my clients are showing up and they're taking the action, they're taking the actions, but they're not connected.
They're not feeling, they're not authentically in it. And that's the thing where there [00:28:00] is this balance and there is this level. And I think that showing up authentically and crying is next level. Bravery is really just you doing it. And we remember Jen, when we were working together. Four years ago, we did a masterclass about money.
And then after the masterclass, the day after, Jen had real life realizations around money. Remember, we were on a call and so we decided to go live and on this live you broke down and you cried. Remember this? Mm-hmm. Yeah. And you were so, and that was so raw. So this one masterclass that we did. Then turned into the next day us doing a spontaneous masterclass, which then that spontaneous masterclass of not even just reflection of the masterclass of Jen being raw, led to us making $24,000 in 24 hours.
So then we re then, then we recorded a third masterclass to talk about how all of it unfolded. Mm, true. And you remember that, right? Yeah. I mean, so I say this [00:29:00] to like allow us to use our emotions. To,
Jen: to make people feel right. This is, but I, I am gonna say like, I don't actually love that. That's how it unfolded.
Okay. Tell me more. I don't, tell me more. I don't, I don't, and I, I know that it wasn't my intention to like, um, use like pity. Or emotional manipulation to like make money. And I don't think that that's what I was doing at the time, but it wasn't. No,
Lauren: not
Jen: at all. 'cause it was so unplanned and raw in the moment.
Totally. Totally. And I still have like that feeling or that undertone of like, is that what that was? And it's still kind of a question. And no matter how. Off. I mean, this is four years ago. Yeah. So I've had time to answer this question for myself. Yeah. You know what I mean? I've actually even discussed it with somebody on a YouTube channel.
I was anonymous on the channel. Yeah, I remember that. But like it was one of those things where I was like, [00:30:00] I actually don't want to do that again. Yeah. Like I don't want to be selling something when I am in that state because you are so raw. 'cause for me it doesn't feel good. Right. You know what I mean?
But I mean that, and
Lauren: this is like, I think part of the evolution of what me and Jen talked about in our first podcast of this, I mean, this first episode of this podcast was that we had a really let a lot of things go. Mm-hmm. So that we can then become in alignment. And I think that there is a difference between being a hot mess and pushing record and just like.
Going for it. And I think there's a part of it where you can pause and you can, and be in the right intention of why you're doing it right. And I think that the thing that determines all of the action, whether it's messy, whether it's thought out, whether it's spontaneous, is your intention behind it, right?
Is is it pure? Is it connected? And that's this authenticity piece that's really coming together because you can't fake that. It's either real or it's not real. Right? It's like it's [00:31:00] the reason you're behind. You're doing. If people that are out there being like the, every time I cry I make money, or every time I cry, you know, if they keep on doing it, it's gonna lose its appeal and people are gonna feel that.
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Lauren: Right? So we can't lie to the universe. We can't lie. 'cause our vibes don't lie. Right? Like that's like the cheesiest thing. We actually did a podcast on that, but it's the intention behind it. But I also see because your brand of who you are now. The crying raw doesn't fit in your brand now. That's why you wouldn't do that now,
Jen: right?
Yeah. I mean, like, and I think that at this point, because of the way everything like went down, my, my, one of my biggest values is like integrity. Mm-hmm. And the way that I run my business, deliver, sell all of it. You know what I mean? So like, it makes me. Not in a bad way, I don't think. I think it's just for awareness, but like question, like ask myself, check back in and not, yeah, not just assume that because [00:32:00] it's me doing the thing that it's always coming from a good place.
I do believe that I'm a good person. I'm not saying that I'm a bad person. I'm just saying like, I wanna make sure that I'm not doing things that I feel that I've observed in like the coaching space. Right. Especially because. It, it made me not, it made me, I mean, I did a lot of reflection. Yeah. You know what I mean?
Over the past three years. Yeah. On what went down, like how I wanted to process it and how I wanted to come out on the other side. Like for a long time I thought I was just gonna disappear and never come back. You know what I mean?
Lauren: No. Jen, there was years where this would never have been in a reality when you were processing, and I think that's what like, I.
I'm so proud of you just like having this such authentic question, this conversation and being so raw because those that actually question it are the ones that are in the right place. Like, you think about parents that are like, am I a good parent? Am I a good parent? Those [00:33:00] are the good parents. 'cause they actually care.
It's the same thing with businesses and like wanting to be those that have a high integrity of, we're always checking in because it's so important to us. And like that's, it makes you, that's the part that makes you, you. And that is normal.
Jen: Yeah. Thank you. Right. And
Lauren: to all of us, right? Because I do to you guys, this is what I teach is ethical sales.
Mm-hmm. Non-salesy, icky sales. And I still find myself thinking because I care because. It's who I don't wanna be is somebody that's not authentic or somebody that's not in alignment. And so it's always on my mind.
Jen: Yeah.
Lauren: . And same with all of us. So if you're in the same way, like you're normal, like that makes you like a good human being, like that this is , this is the core of that.
Like authenticity is the energy behind it.
Jen: Yeah. I mean, I, I. I see that and I, and part of it too, right, is like I still hold judgment Yeah. For some people in these spaces. [00:34:00] And I honestly think that's okay. I think I'm allowed to, and I think I'm allowed to have my thoughts and my opinions and share whatever pieces of it feel like aligned to share, but like it's.
It's really strong in me, like that, that whole piece of showing up with like the deepest integrity. Totally. And I, I think that these are the
Lauren: conversations that we wanna have.
Jen: Yeah, for sure. Right? Like
Lauren: we, we don't wanna ignore that there. This is a, let's be honest. It's an interesting time right now, the personal growth industry, a lot of things have shifted over the last few years.
It's not like back in 20 20, 20 21, 20 22, where like everybody and their moms were making money as a coach. And that is why it's actually even more important for us to be authentic now because people are taking their time and being more, um, what's the right word to say it? Like discerning, like [00:35:00] deliberate, discerning.
Yes. Discerning. And I think that's the, that's the, the word I'm really using is that. As consumers, we were being discerning. And I want us to be discerning. This is a good thing for the industry and that's why Yeah, me and you, because we care. We are trying to be discerning ourselves with how we're positioning and what we're talking about and what we're bringing because there is a whole other side out there of people that are not authentic and that are very salesy.
And that's the thing, like when we, when we're being sold to and it feels icky, it's because there's a lack of integrity or there's some, some kind of energy, something's out of alignment. And that's what I say is that. In order to really be able to provide our services in a way that feels good to us.
Right. And that feels good to them is us being connected and knowing why we're doing it. And the thing that makes something salesy versus not salesy. Easy in tension in the energy behind it. Yeah. Because you can, somebody can say something in the same, somebody else can say the same thing, but it can feel and sound completely different.
Jen: Yeah. And I, I [00:36:00] will even say that. That practice that you had done or like practicing. Did you post these practice sessions by the way?
Lauren: For what?
Jen: The ones that you just found on your computer? No, I
Lauren: will share, I will in the links. I will make sure somewhere that I share these sessions 'cause it's re it's amazing.
Jen: I obsessed. I love that.
Lauren: Um. I think I almost wanna like, stop recording, watch, let you watch them, and then we
Jen: come back. We'll do that when we take a break and film our next. Okay. But I, I just have this thought about like, if you're out there and you're thinking to yourself like, is me practicing me practicing being someone that isn't me?
I'm gonna say that like. Practicing who you are in your most authentic self-expression is literally you just uncovering this piece of you that might want to be expressed. Right? Yeah. Like the Sasha [00:37:00] Fierce side. Yeah. Right. Like you can see a difference in the way that somebody even performs, which, which one is more authentic?
The one where they're like stumbling and fumbling, or the one that where they're polished, like I don't think. Either of those or practicing is like what will make you authentic or inauthentic, but like you should also be happy with how you are expressing yourself on camera, on voice, whatever it might be in writing.
So like practice is great and I, I love that because. To a certain extent, we don't show people our process. I mean, all of this is kind of like culminating to like 2025, right? Yeah. Like when there's like Jen Alpha's already old enough to like record themselves and put themselves on video. Yeah. So crazy.
Gen Z is already out here, like, you know, leading the way in some, in some way, [00:38:00] shape or form. And so like the older generations hate to put us in that bucket. But like we can now not just learn from people who are older than us, but people who are younger than us too, which is super interesting. Right. You know, and I think
Lauren: that's.
That's always, and I, me and Jen at one point, we did some really deep research into like who our people are, especially my people and technology has been one of the biggest things that have, has holds back our clients that are especially 40 and above. And Oh yeah, for sure. And if you think about it, that's why I practice.
That's why I put a little bit more effort into it because I wanna be able to keep up with. With the people that are like, were born doing it. Right. That it's just so easy to do it. And you know, I, I think that we have to allow ourselves to be beginners. Mm-hmm. And I think that's the hardest thing is that I know if you're listening to this, you're like me, you're good at what you do when you set your mind to [00:39:00] something, you're like, I'm gonna do it and you're gonna figure it out.
And I like being the best at what I do. I like being good at what I do, and I hate being bad at what, when I'm not good at it. Right. And, and I think that's what this is. This is about, and this is like, this episode has really turned down like how to be authentic, in content, in, in, you know, in our businesses.
And I think it just comes down to continuing to just be ourselves, go back to that authenticness in like why we're doing it in the first place.
Jen: Yeah, like being a beginner is such, being a beginner, right? Like being a, yeah.
Lauren: And I, it, I look, I can't wait. I can't wait to show you these videos.
'cause that was a very beginner me. But over time it became second nature. And now I'm like, okay, let's just push play. In fact, like if you guys go to my Instagram, you'll see a lot of , my reels are just like, here I am. Here I am. And I think that for a while, and I wanna say, I wanna make a caveat here.
There [00:40:00] are, you have to figure out what your brand is and what your style is, right? So Jen, she helps people show up on video. That's her thing. She's a master of it, so she's such a perfectionist. So just us doing this. Has completely upleveled me in what I'm doing, but my brand personally is a little bit more raw, a little bit more, um, unedited.
So to me, to show up on a Instagram with just like no hair and no makeup, just go for it is part of my brand a little bit, right? So there, I don't want you to get caught up in thinking that you, it needs to be one way or another. What is actually. Uh, most important is it's authentic to you and how you want the world to see you,
so showing up and crying may or may not be right for you. Show, you know, showing up, polished may or may not be right for you, but in the beginning, I, I'm giving you permission to be, to be messy because it's gonna take time to figure it out. So you might as well just do it imperfectly in the first time, and then eventually over time
Jen: the polish comes.
You know what, I, [00:41:00] um, Lauren just showed me this the other day, so it like popped into my head, but. I totally forgot that you were like the person who helped me feel safe in showing up that way. Like I had never before. The picture that we took in 2021, right on your Instagram. Okay, lemme set, lemme set. Let me
Lauren: set this the stage for you.
So for the very first time me and Jen met in person was April. 2020, uh, 2021, and she was staying with me for a week, which is exactly what I'm doing with her right now. I'm staying with her for a week, and we're sitting on my couch and we're creating a bunch of content. We're selling our Mastermind. I don't know what we're doing.
We're doing a bunch of stuff and. I was like, let's just create content right here. It's the morning time. She has no makeup on or nothing. I'm like, we're taking a picture and we're posting it. She's like, I don't know. I'm like, Nope, we're doing it. And I made her do it. And it was growth for you because it was like totally
Jen: huge growth for me.
Lauren: She had never showed up without makeup. And to me that's like, no. I am like, yeah, no big deal. I'm just gonna be me. You know? Like I'm gonna do like my hair messy, like some of my [00:42:00] reels, but sometimes it's really polished too. That I think is some of it's a real freedom thing to be able to show up in such a vulnerable realness, but it doesn't have to be all the time and it doesn't have to be your brand.
Jen: Yeah. I, I think it was, it's interesting 'cause it's like, it didn't feel like free. I mean at first I was just like freaked out. I didn't want anybody to see me. I literally had never in my life shown up without makeup on. I mean, I was a makeup artist for 12 years for God's sakes. Like, you know what I mean?
That was my brand. And so like now, now, so to share with you how it has transpired into like widening out my brand, I have videos on my YouTube channel where I'm just like washed hair, lotion, face. You know what I mean? No makeup on. Yeah. And it's just like I wanted to put something out there and I don't.
I think that over the years too, I have like grown in my self-acceptance of what I look like on camera because [00:43:00] like, yeah, it was, man, I, I think the first time that I showed up on any sort of like public content mm-hmm. Was when I was, I must have been like 21 maybe. Mm-hmm. And I had come home from college to like shoot this Filipino American News.
News like show. Mm-hmm. And I. Did my hair and makeup and wore the suit and the shirt, , like what you were talking about. Yeah. Dressed up professional. Yeah. So this is like 21 years ago now, almost to the, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like 21 years ago. And I put on my like newscaster voice and was like, this is how you show up professional.
And so that started, that was way before I was a makeup artist, you know? Yeah. And so like to. Have started at that point, building my personal brand. I mean, like nobody saw this video. I mean, if you go online, you'll [00:44:00] see like maybe 2000 people saw the video. Um, but everyone's gonna go look burnout. I know everyone's, oh my goodness.
So embarrassing. But. Regardless, right? Like it took me how long to get to the point where I'm like, okay, I don't think I'm a total troll and I don't need to always be wearing makeup. I mean, I like on these episodes, you're gonna see that I am wearing makeup. 'cause I do enjoy putting my makeup on and showing up in a certain way.
So I will be showing up that way on this podcast. Yeah. There are pictures and videos of me not wearing makeup, like with my hair in a bun, making coffee on my Instagram. And this is thanks to you. Like this is not this, that is not a Jen Original. I know,
Lauren: but people, but I think people like seeing a little bit of raw, right?
We don't wanna see the hot, we don't wanna see the hot mess express, right? Like we wanna see, but we wanna see like people being human and. That's really like this year specifically, like one of my big personal goals in my business is actually to be seen and to share more. And [00:45:00] I'm a super casual person, like I don't often have my hair done, so I'm often inspired.
And so in the past, what I would do is I'd have these inspired ideas and then I would have this notebook and I'd be like, okay, once I have my hair and makeup and once I look good enough and I'm in the right place, then I'll go ahead and create content. But you know how often that actually happened? Not very often.
And the crazy thing is, is that how I, how I would, I'd be walking and I'd have inspired ideas and then I would like voice note into my phone. Like the thing that like was inspired and I was talking to a client who became a friend who's a, who's a huge following. And I was talking about , trying to get over some of , my ability to create more content.
And she's like talking about my process and I was telling her what I do. She's like. Y you're speaking it into your phone anyways. Why wouldn't you just turn the camera on and share it live when you're in the moment having the realization where people can feel your power and your, your passion, I'm like, yeah, you're right.
Because Right. Good point. Right. So it's like this is, this is the balance, and once again, we have to [00:46:00] figure out what your brand is, what's all it's in alignment to you, what's both authentic for you. But you can see there's two sides to the coin here with me and Jenna, even how we view. Content a little bit and yeah, true.
How we create it where I'm just like in the moment, and this is also kind of how I am in human design and, and my body's like, I get these inspiration and these hits, so when I have it, I might as well just channel it into something because I won't go back and do it later. So this is part of you and this authenticity is like understanding, like how, when are you most in the zone to share your authentic voice?
Like what actually gets you in the zone? Because I've now learned. How to get into a place where I'm channeling so I can do it more on demand than just sitting down being like, what do I say what? Like what do I do? So I think there's some nuances to actually being able to tap in to that authentic place and speak very authentic, authentically.
And when in doubt you can use chat GPT. Yes. Which I also do that a ton too.
Jen: Well, I was like [00:47:00] thinking about this yesterday, 'cause I just put out a YouTube video yesterday and or this morning actually. And I was like, I had a purpose for the, for the video. I always have a purpose. I always want, um, to teach something or like share a realization, something that'll help, um, creators over 40.
Yeah. Like get on video basically. But I wanted to also, like, I had another intention. I wanted to share the workshop that I'm doing, which by the time this is out, it's gonna be over. But anyhow, I was like, I don't have any. Huge push or pull right now. Mm-hmm. With anything that I am needing to say or wanting to say.
So I went into chat GPT and was like, Hey, can you help me with an idea of what I can make this video about? Yeah. And it did, and it's super helpful because it's not anything that's inauthentic to me. It's things that I would've said had I had the brain capacity to think about it and script myself,
it's interesting too, right? Because it's [00:48:00] not like, that wasn't like a, in the moment I was inspired sort of thing. No, that was like a No, I saw the process.
Lauren: Jen's like, God, I don't even know what I'm gonna talk about. And it's
Jen: like, I'm doing it now. I gotta figure this out. Yeah. It's like I typed it in, I took a shower, and then I like,
yeah. Built it
Lauren: and, and I love that we're telling these stories because I think there's a time where it's like you're in the flow and you wanna feel good. And there's times where it's like, I'm running a business and I create content and I need to do it consistently. So we're doing it now.
Jen: Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I can't wait until they see the pictures that we just took with melody because, wow, this feels like us.
Yeah. I mean, this really just feels, I was like, it feels like both of us. Yeah. And it feels like the thing that happens when us, we come together. Yeah. And I'm saying this because , okay, so we had that. That fabulous photo shoot that happened in the Hollywood Hills. Part of me feels like, wow, that was way more on brand for me than it was for Lauren.
Yeah. Even though you looked super fierce. Dude, I looked
Lauren: amazing. Amazing. Hot. I like, I would've like you. She looked like a model in the picture. I [00:49:00] did. Yeah. No, I did. We both did. We both did.
Jen: So like I knowing that we were gonna do the photo shoot was like. I need to make sure that this is on brand for both of us.
Yeah. Because it won't feel right if it's just on brand for me or just on Brandand for you. . And so it was like this discussion, right? Something I do is brand strategy. I'm like, how do we strategize so it doesn't turn out like feeling very time sensitive. Yeah. I wanted to feel like, oh, I can actually use these for the next five years if I wanted to.
Totally. 'cause it looks like us, you know? Yeah. And it was. It, it,
Lauren: I'm like speechless. Literally speechless because it was so both of us and it was so fun. And during it we were having fun. And I remember after the photo shoot, Jen, we were, she was looking, she was giving us a preview and Jen was like, this is the most authentic of seen you look or the most happy that I've seen you look.
It was just so like real,
Jen: it really looks like Lauren. I
Lauren: was just like, oh my gosh, this [00:50:00] feels so good. And this comes back to. And so much of my work that I, I keep on reminding my clients, it's getting out of our head and into our body, right? Mm-hmm. And I think that comes down to when we're thinking about being authentic and self-expression, it's really when we're just be able to be in that moment.
'cause it's an energetic thing. It's never just the words we're saying, it's how we're saying in the energy that that really makes it click.
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Lauren: And that's the same thing with like pictures and, and copy and making offers and showing up. It's the same thing. It's not just about what we're doing, it's who we're actually being while we're doing it.
Jen: Yeah. That's, maybe that's what it is. 'cause like when I look at the pictures Yeah. And I'm just like remembering some of 'em. You know what I mean? In my mind, because like, we don't have the final pictures just yet. She took
Lauren: 1200 pictures of US,
Jen: 1200 and we have another shoot this afternoon. She's coming right after this.
Yeah. So the crazy part about it is that seeing how [00:51:00] you have this like, okay, so this is how I kind of view you and your brand anyway. Mm-hmm. You have like this super playful part and this very carefree, like boho kind of vibe to you. Mm-hmm. And then you have this other part that is the very like.
Studious and series entrepreneur who's had a business for eight years that is like, you know, you're at master, you've done 10,000 hours a while back, you know what I'm saying? Of like everything that you've been doing, so. For me, sometimes when I see pictures of you, I'm like, oh, this is only the playful side, or this is only this other serious side.
Yeah. But these pictures feel like this real combination and like this holistic view of you and your brand. Yeah. So I, I really enjoyed that. I appreciate
Lauren: that. , And when, for those that are like, okay, that's great, but how do I do that? Or like, how do I feel like in that and. This is the work that I've been doing on myself.
I have actually been in my in, as Jen was saying, like [00:52:00] I am obsessed with my work. I'm obsessed with what I do. I'm always studying it. I'm always getting better. I'm always learning. And in July 20, July 22nd, 2024, I started this experiment with myself and it's called the Embodiment Experiment. I'm actually doing a group right now, but I'm doing this for a year with myself, and I've been taking extra, extra time just being with myself.
Not consuming, not trying to think, but just really being in me and spending time by myself. And there has been this, and people have said that, like, I feel a difference. There's like a difference in your energy. And it's just because I'm so connected to myself without outside factors, right? Like I've been really, really protecting my energy from friends and people.
And Jen, you've seen me kind of. Pull away from people and whatnot, because when you can get to the core of who you are, people can just feel it and it shines and it's energetic. And this is the work I do with all of my [00:53:00] clients. So it's about getting in your bodies. It's about getting outta your mind.
Jen: Yeah, and it's also like what I do see too is that when you do do this work, things shift.
And that can be scary. And I think that maybe sometimes it is like a like. Nerve wracking invitation. Yeah. To be called in to like really experience yourself. Yeah. And be with yourself. But once you do it, it's like there's this undeniable like boundary that starts to form around you where you're like, I really can't even, I can't engage with that energy.
No, because it doesn't feel good anymore. It doesn't feel aligned. It doesn't
Lauren: feel aligned. And also just to reflect to you, you know. For those that didn't know, like Jen took a couple years off and just didn't think about business and didn't even know she wanted to do business. And it was like in that space where you were literally kind of a hermit.
You just did [00:54:00] you for many, many, for you guys for years. She had a tiny little network of people that just really helped her see herself. And now on the other side of taking time off, grew a YouTube channel to like 7,000 people, like just popping off. Because once again, it comes down to the inner work that you did.
Like it's, I'm just so proud of you and just like how fast this iter, this second iteration of your business is actually popping because the energetics, the foundation, the alignment is there.
Jen: Yeah. Thanks a lot. And for that's, it's for
Lauren: me too. And that's why it's showing and that's why it's coming and. Uh, you guys , have probably see all the time you're like scrolling on Instagram or Facebook and you see other people out there talking and some people you resonate with and some people you don't.
And they're saying the same thing. It's because of their energy. And so going back to this authenticity, we all we're all vibrational beings and the most potent, there's actually was recently, I don't even remember the study, but there was a study done. And they were [00:55:00] measuring energy waves in different emotions and the strongest energy wave out of every single emotion, all of the emotions out there is authenticity.
Jen: Is it? I thought it was gratitude.
Lauren: Nope. Authenticity. And I'll have to, actually, I'm gonna find it. I'll link it up 'cause I like, really want you guys to see this, but there is a study out there, so it's like authenticity is like the most powerful vibration out there. So. When you are, we're getting out of our minds.
We're getting into our body, we're getting into our authentic self. And I, I teach this a lot in my master classes and with my clients, I don't believe we just have our mind, right? A lot of coaches, a lot of people out there are talking about mindset work. You know, our conscious mind and our subconscious mind.
But you guys, that's only one part of who we are, who our truth is, is our non-conscious, right? Is our soul, is our. The like non-human part, right? Like who we are. Our preferences are all different, our personality, authentic. So when we're in our heads trying to answer these questions and speak from our mind, we're not [00:56:00] coming from our most, most authentic place.
Our most authentic place is that non-physical part, our heart, our soul. So that's why it's so important that we're speaking from our heart. We're speaking from who we really are and what's often in our way from that truth of aligning to our, our authenticity is our old programming or society norms. Yeah.
Jen: Yeah, I was thinking it's like the masks that we've built up. Yeah. Yep. You know, because like, and, and it's always an, and like sometimes we don't even realize what masks we've built up. Yeah. You know, I, 'cause I don't know, I don't know that I've ever been like. I'm going to perform right now. Yeah. I've always maybe thought okay, yeah, this is me and my authentic expression at this moment, and I think like as I continue to peel back layers, I see, I see the mask starting to fall off.
You know what I mean? Yeah. I start to see like, oh, okay, that was a mask, but I didn't know it until it does fall off. [00:57:00] Yeah. And it's such a weird process because the level of vulnerability required is. Is also nerve wracking, you know?
Lauren: Yeah. Ugh. This is so beautiful. This has been really a fun conversation because to see each other evolve over these years.
Totally. And to see, hear, and for me and Jen, when we first kind of got together to play around with this idea of doing this podcast, we decided that we were only gonna do it if it was fun and that it flowed. Right. And I think that this, and like, I wanna thank you like. Thanks for doing this again with me.
'cause this is, this right here is like my most authentic self-expression is when I'm with you, friend.
Jen: Thanks friend.
Lauren: I'm serious. No, no, but it's true. It's just so, it's just so easy. Right? And it's like, and I talked about this on the last podcast episodes where now I'm gonna get emotional. When we stopped doing [00:58:00] our podcast, we knew it wasn't right and we were ready to not do it anymore.
Jen: Mm-hmm.
Lauren: But it left such a hole in me 'cause it was like the most fun and most easy in my business. And for years I was searching for that again,
Lauren: because it was so easy and fun. And so like this is what, this is what we want for you is finding like, what is that flow? What is that fun? What's that most authentic self?
And like go do that. Yeah. That's the way
Jen: I said it. We were just talking about crying on camera and I'm like, no, no. She's breaking her. I'm breaking your brand. My brand.
Lauren: Pull it together, Jen. Pull it together. Okay, well thank you for joining us for another episode. Um, I'm gonna make Jen watch this video of me right now.
We'll, I'm excited. We'll report back.
Jen: Alright y'all. See you in the next [00:59:00] one.
Okay, and as promised, here are mine and Jen's first videos that we recorded so far long ago. Enjoy.
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