Episode 5
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Jen: [00:00:00] Are we testing
Lauren: or are we live?
Jen: I mean, we're live, but it's a sound test in the beginning always, you know? Okay. Yep. We are also just coming off of ah, the, there's always a jump scare. Yes.
See, this is somehow, this is less Mor Tisha Adams than it was the other day. Oh yeah. Maybe 'cause I was doing the purple light. Yeah, exactly. It's a little bit of a different, a different vibe I am seeing. I'm gonna do this a little bit. Okay. Are you, I also
Lauren: feel like you should move over a little bit too.
Like we're a little bit, yeah. Perfect. Okay, cool. Yeah.
Jen: Yeah. I think that's the vibe. Yeah.
Lauren: There we go.
Jen: Okay,
Lauren: so we're back for another episode. Okay. Before we get into the real topic. In between recording this episode and last episode, did we not only just have a photo shoot, but we also went back and looked at some [00:01:00] old videos.
Jen: Oh my goodness. Wow. I did not think I was gonna have the reaction that I had to your videos. Yeah, because it's not, they're not funny and it's not something to like even be like, well, look how bad I was. It was like, wow, this is, you have grown and changed and I can feel the difference in who you are now versus who you were back then.
And those were from what year? 2017. 2017. And
Lauren: for those that didn't just listen to the last episode, the last episode was on authenticity and really communicating authentically in front of cameras and just showing up and. I went back and I looked at these videos and it literally brought me to tears. Not only because I was laughing at myself, but it was such a difference.
It's like, wow, I really have grown in my voice and everything, [00:02:00] every voice.
Jen: I mean, it's, I think the most shocking part to me was the sound of your voice, your register. Like now you, it sounds like you speak from your gut now. Like it sounds like you speak from a different part in your body. Like you're, because I'm embodied and you're so much more loose and so much more confident and like it's a different Yeah.
Version of you because I'm
Lauren: embodied. Back then I was just practicing and taking other people's words and they weren't my own. And so this is a deeper level of embodiment and, and same with, and we also looked at Jen's video too. Okay. It wasn't just me, so when we got certified, we got certified from the same life coach school.
We both had to. Um, submit a two minute video basically like selling us or doing a little spiff. And so we watch Jen's as well. And not only does she look completely different yeah, but her voice, she was like, not, it was like not, I don't know, it was like a little bit squeaky. I was like very, hi. And once again, same for you, where it's like so settled.
And so [00:03:00] just to, to wrap this up, remember how far you've come, like go back. This is a challenge to all of you guys. Go back and find an old video, an old email, old landing page. Me and Jenna have been, uh, going down a trip down memory lane these last couple days and it's just really beautiful to see how far we've come.
And I think that's some of the most powerful, powerful things we can do is measure ourselves by how far we've come instead of that impossible of how much farther we have to go.
Jen: Or even like against other people. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because like, yeah. Excuse me. We were finding videos back in my files from 2018.
Mm-hmm. And I started building my coaching business in 2017. Nothing came, like, I didn't record anything just yet. Yeah. And so you must have done the same thing. Yeah. Because you don't start off right off the bat, like recording video of yourself, like you're doing the learning and creating the programs and doing all [00:04:00] that stuff.
And so, like, looking back at those videos, I was like, who even, I mean, you saw the le like, I didn't have my lighting dialed in. No. Or the sound at all. Or even the camera angle, like, which is weird because in a way I, in my mind, the way that it's stored is like, oh, I came straight from doing makeup artistry.
So of course everything was already set up from the beginning, but it wasn't No. It wasn't
Lauren: No, no. It took Right. And that's the thing is she did it. She built your first, first part of your business, not the way you were polished now. And it's like, we forget. Yeah. We forget that we just start with like where we're at.
And that's kind of what we wanna talk about today is actually kind of like a reflection and a look back, but with a very different topic, which is the topic of money.
Jen: Yeah. This is one of those topics that's like, now, for me at least, it's touchy. I mean, when I was in full force, in full swing of my coaching business, I was talking about it all the time.
But also, [00:05:00] I'm gonna say it's probably because I, I knew it was like a, a turn people's head scroll, stopping kind of topic.
Lauren: Yeah.
Jen: And so I felt ballsy enough to say things about money that other people out there were like both of us, right? Yeah. We had, we were ballsy enough to say stuff about money and.
Yeah. Wow. I, I know because Lauren and I have been discussing our growth around money. Yeah. That just the way we look at money is so completely different than it was like four years ago. Yeah. It really does feel like we graduated high school and now we're in going into like our college or grad school or whatever.
Yeah. You know, with
Lauren: a completely different understanding and Yeah. I, I think that, and it's my, really, my goal to be vulnerable because as a coach, that my main thing that I do is I help you make money. So my results for my [00:06:00] clients is money. Right. And that's a, a really good marker for your business is in success is how much money did you make.
Right. That's a very normal way to determine if you're having success in your business. Now, if you have a business and you're not making money. It's not really a business. Right. And me and Jen we're kind of talking about this before we got on where it's like, what we really wanna talk about is that balance of Yes.
Understanding that we're actually in this to exchange money as much as people are like, oh, I just, I would do this if, if I could do it for free. That's kind of bullshit. Like, we, we also, we, we deserve to get paid for this, right? Right. We're here to, to get, make money. But I think Jen and I did money and made money, made money and chase money in a way that was not sustainable.
And I think got a little bit icky towards the end for us to be honest, and to, when we burnt down our businesses and started over, there was a whole different, not [00:07:00] only relationship with money because of us healing and some of the work we did around money about there, but also not trying to make money as the main point that we actually determine if our business is successful or not.
Jen: Oh yeah. That from the first episode that we were talking about. Yeah. I'm like, well, how are we gauging success in our forties? And
Lauren: yeah.
Jen: I think that, um, everything you said I agree with, and I think that I have personally been humbled over the past three years. Mm-hmm. And, and I'm grateful for that lesson.
Yeah. Because while I was in the lesson, I was not grateful. I was not, I mean, there were
Lauren: so many tears, you guys, I, I'm actually really, I just wanna actually celebrate Jen because to see what you actually went through, what she went through, and to feel like you kind of hit bottom right, like to hit bottom.
Oh, I'll say that way. Jen, like had a hit bottom moment and I had some too. Not [00:08:00] quite the way that Jen did. Um, but it changes you. And to see her. Fully go through it and be in her emotions for a really long time. And then on the other side, who has she become in this? Like, and I, I don't think you quite see it.
I see yourself differently, but she's so grounded and so smart, and so just attached to your why in, in alignment and not graspy at all, that it's just so beautiful to see you now being like, oh no, I'm fully healed and now I'm ready to get to like, get paid for for these gifts.
Jen: Wow. I'm gonna cry again.
Thank you, Fred. I mean, it's, wow. Yeah. I, um, it's weird when you're going in it Yeah. And going through it. I mean, it, it's, it's like every single day you're just like, okay, I'm still in it, but I'm not gonna be in it forever. And even when you say that to yourself, and when I say in it, okay, [00:09:00] let me just describe with some detail Yes.
What that even means, because. I, if you would've told me these details before I would've gone in it, I would've clawed my way to the other side somehow. Mm-hmm. You know, trying to avoid what I was about to experience. Yeah. But I had like my business closed and not only did it close, I could not figure out how to get paid for anything.
Yeah. I didn't, I didn't know how to find a job 'cause I hadn't had a job
Lauren: mm-hmm.
Jen: Since 2009. And my business closed in 2011 or 2000. Yeah. 2009 was when I quit my corporate job and then my business, no matter what iteration I tried to take, it just wasn't working. Mm-hmm. And so I asked, you know, I like sucked it up, asked friends, asked my family to help me with money and I [00:10:00] actually did accept some help and I.
Did not accept some help. And that's because through this process there was an overlap with me learning what my boundaries were.
Lauren: Yeah.
Jen: And what my standards were for myself. And so I made a conscious decision to like just allow the debt to pile up in order to survive. Yeah. And it was literally like painful every single day.
Like I was watching my bank account not only be in the red, but continuously get lower and deeper into the red. And I'd never experienced this before and like it forced me to see how much of my self worth I was tying to the amount of money in my bank account. Yeah. Ooh. Yes. I'm taking a note 'cause I have a story.
Lauren: Yes.
Jen: And. [00:11:00] As I allowed that number to grow in the red, I had to learn how to sit with myself and accept myself and detach that self worth with my net worth. And it was, it was really probably the most painful or one of the most painful things that has ever happened to me in my life. Yeah. And I was in that position for seven months, eight months, maybe like a long time.
And I was just like so ready to like give everything up. Like just be like, I'm done here. Like what is this? I don't understand this level of suffering. Like I don't understand this level of struggle. And something like incrementally. You know what it feels like. Yeah. You know that movie, um, you know Batman when Val Kilmer is at the bottom of the hole?
Yep. And he is [00:12:00] like clawing his way up the side of the hole. It literally, like, as I was pulling myself up out of that debt and being, when I say that, I mean not just getting a job, but being willing to look at the debt, call around. See if I had to file for bankruptcy Yeah. Or what else I could possibly do.
Like you learned
Lauren: how to manage your, your, your money. And I think, and this was for me and I did not, I am learning now. Right. But you, but there is, but let me say this, and this is for Jen and for me on some level, and I'll tell my story, but we had a lot of money coming in at one point. Like a lot, a lot of money.
But there was a leaky, it was a leaky bucket. Yes. And it was a very leaky bucket. And that was where the problem was. And when you, it leaked for so long and when you, she learned how to plug that up. It is strong you guys. And in fact, at one point I even reached out to Jen, I was like, okay, that thing you, like you, everything you went through, like, tell me I'm ready for that part.
Mm-hmm. And I think that was like, right. Because it was a thing that was like, we didn't, and I think [00:13:00] in business there's like a few different things. At first, we just need to make money, right? There's different stages I think about. And like the first part is just making it, and then it's having it, and then it's saving it, and then it's giving it, right?
So there's different phases that we get when we're with money and, and to see you, and I know you're still in it. And I, this is what I love about Jen is she's so, like you said, humbled by this mm-hmm. Experience that you really are willing to look at things different and was willing to be a beginner and like learn from learn again.
Oh yeah. And that
Jen: is embarrassing. Yeah. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. I, it's like embarrassing to be a 40 something year old woman. Who is like, I literally have no savings because I've run through it and I, this is not the first time either. You know what I mean? I've run through my savings before and I've made, that's always been my problem.
And I didn't realize it until I finally realized it. You know what I mean? Like if you take a really strong fire hose and like, or [00:14:00] no, say you just turn on like a regular hose and you're pouring the regular water into a regular leaky bucket and it's leaking a little bit. Yeah. And then your solution is like, oh, no, no, no.
It's, it's leaking, but we could still get more water in the bucket. So you take a fire hose and you start fire hosing. Yeah. Water into the bucket. The leak becomes bigger. Exactly. And, and more broken. That bucket is like no longer able to hold any of it, and I think it's always been my solution to just, just make more
Lauren: money.
Exactly. Exactly. And I think that's where me and Jen, once again, when we crumbled our businesses at one point, me and her got really good at making money. We knew how to make right? Like it was easy, it was fun. That was not the problem. That was not the problem. Like there was other things that were going on.
And then eventually, and we'll go into this more, but like who we were, who we were being, wasn't sustainable to keep that up, which is why it crumbled, which is where I think we see a lot of people have these ups and downs. And we'll talk more about the ups and downs with business. I mean that, [00:15:00] but a lot of people go up, they go down and they're not able to recover.
But here's what I wanna say, and this is, we will go in a little bit more, my story in a bit. But my, in that time between my la, the last podcast and now I've also had some ups and downs, just a little, little ones. My income hasn't been as consistent. But what I really learned in those moments is that. When my bank account got to very low that I was still okay and I was not freaking out and I wasn't taking action, trying to make money, where in the past I would be like, as soon as my bank account went, starts to get low, I'm like, I have to take action.
What do I do? What do I do? What do I do to do it? Because I was in a place of not believing that money was coming. I was in a place of not feeling safe to receive money. I was still in a place of that hustle mentality, right? So there was a [00:16:00] whole, not only mindset shift, but a recalibration in my body to what felt safe and to be able to be an entrepreneur and have ups and downs and be okay, and not feeling like things aren't working and not feeling like a failure when your bank account isn't reflecting the work that you've done.
Mm-hmm. That is what I have learned in these last four years. So I am so grateful now for all the ups and downs because guess what? There's always gonna be ups and downs. Yeah, it's true. And if you're only okay in your business when you have money and you're only believe in yourself and you're only, you're only feeling good when there's money.
That's why a lot of people end up not being able to get out of it or make more money because they can't figure out how to shift their energy and be okay. [00:17:00] And that is the skill that I give my clients. Like to me, the whole reason why I do what I do and like why I love sales so much is because when you know how to sell, you know how to make money.
And when you can make money, you'll always gonna be okay. So what I really have learned over these last few years, and I've always kind of taught this. But now I am it because I actually went through it, is learning how to go through the ups and downs process, all of the emotions around it, allowing yourself to be scared and then coming to a place of that you're always gonna be okay.
Being able to snap back because it's not gonna be all rainbows and daisies. No. And even as a money teacher, and this is like one of my main things that I teach, I still freak out all the time, but guess what? I'm able to get back into it really like fast or calibrate, or sometimes I need a a couple hours, sometimes I need a day.
It's not always, but [00:18:00] it's my ability to realize that I'm gonna be okay because I went down to zero so many times in my bank account, and I learned to find safety there because I wasn't relying my worth and my success on that number.
Jen: Yeah, I mean. I'm not gonna lie, it's, it's really hard to find safety while you're sitting at zero.
Absolutely. It doesn't feel like safety or security at all. But that, at the same time as that not being safety or security, it doesn't mean that you are worthless. Yeah. And I think that's the actual leads re that's the actual lesson that I learned, right? Like, maybe there's nothing sitting in my bank account and right now the majority of what I earn actually goes to paying off my past debt.
And that for some [00:19:00] reason now, and the reason being like the last four years of my learning, right? It, it finally feels okay. Like it finally feels like budgeting. That word used to drive me insane. Budgeting now just feels like some creative activity. Yeah. Where I'm like, okay, I am trying to figure out how I can keep my quality of life.
Yeah. Because I feel that I, this is so strange. I have the highest quality of life that I've ever had in my entire life and probably make the least amount of money. Or this is like in my business, I'm used to making much more money. Yeah. Even when I was a makeup artist, as a life coach or whatever, this is the least amount that I've made in a very long time.
I'm not making nothing, but I'm also not making the big amounts that I was before. But like my quality of life is actually, feels like it's higher. It feels like it's, I have more, I [00:20:00] feel very abundant. And I think part of it is like being willing to look at everything that I'm doing. Yeah. My money, what I'm doing for money.
Like it. The relationship has definitely changed. Yeah. I'm not afraid of
Lauren: it like I used to
Jen: be.
Lauren: Exactly. And I think that's, that's exactly it. And I wanna go back to something you said about when you have no money, it doesn't feel safe. And that is very true, right? So if you don't have the money you want, you have very little money that it's, it's a crappy place.
But that's the work is your willingness to sit in the fear and face it full on. And that's the thing that breaks you to the other side that then feels safe because you've already experienced the worst. Yeah. Right? And that's, and this is, okay, so one of my stories, so this is a good story. So when I quit my corporate job, I only had $5,000 in my bank account and no savings.
And I jumped without a [00:21:00] leap. And when my dad asked me what my goal was, I mean, what my backup plan was, I told him bankruptcy and I was dead serious. I've always been willing to go. Broke and lose everything to make my business work. Now, I, my biggest fear when I went did this was that I was not gonna have enough money and I was going to lose my apartment, and I was gonna have to move home with my parents.
And that ended up happening because this whole time that I was trying to make money, I had all that fear underneath, but I wasn't really willing to look at it. And I was resisting it, and it was just like there. But I was like doing thought work, thinking positive, but that wasn't enough because underneath I was still petrified.
I was terrified. I didn't actually believe that I could make the money. So the thing that I didn't want, because I was focusing so much energy on it, actually became my reality. Like I ended up not [00:22:00] being able to make the money. And I moved home with my parents, right? And that was the first low that I hit.
And when I got there, it was so painful. It was devastating and my ability to actually like, look at that, look at the feelings and see like, oh my gosh, like, and go through it and experience it and then be okay on the other side being like, oh wait, I just resisted this for so long. And in the end I was okay.
Mm-hmm. Right. And so there's this thing that we do when we're like, I don't want this to happen. I don't want, right? There's like this, like trying to like push the ball under the water and it keeps on popping up and that's the emotion, that's the fear. So when we're really afraid of like, not of being broke or doing that, we're not able and we're not really truly feeling it and crying and allowing it because true transformation like that is hard.
It's painful in the body, like literally transmuting it so we feel safe and our body requires like, looks like fucking hell sometimes.
Jen: [00:23:00] Yeah, totally. Right. So
Lauren: like, I also went through it, I'm not trying to say like, I had these ups and downs and, and didn't cry. It was like, no, it was really painful. But because I've now gone through this.
My body now knows there's a level of safety that when I look, when I, if I don't have the money I want or I'm in, yeah. Basically when I don't have the money I want, it doesn't mean anything to me now. Mm-hmm. It, I'm not making it mean the things that it did before. Mm-hmm. Which then there's not the resistance around it so that, that those vibrations aren't my body.
So I'm able to have ups and downs without the emotions that used to be tied to it.
Jen: Yeah. Yeah. I get that.
Lauren: And which gives you speed in your business because what's happening when it's not working, you're feeling frustrated, then you're continuing to focus on that, which continues to make it not work. So there has to be kind, some kind of shift, some kind of like, um, what is it like boiling point.
And it comes through actually sitting in those like fucking horrible feelings.
Jen: I mean. The [00:24:00] crazy thing, right? Like I, if I'm putting this into like a very tangible experience mm-hmm. For myself, like what you're saying, like mine was like, I could not actually look at my bank account. Yeah. Like I couldn't open the web browser to like go into Chase and see how bad my credit score had become, how like, negative my bank account had become.
I literally could not look at it and feel okay. Yeah. And so like sitting in the emotion was gonna happen regardless, because like, I could only do so much avoiding, and I don't remember the point at which I was like, okay, I am actually gonna look at it. I think it might have been after I got, or it might have been, you know, when it was, it's, I had this epiphany that happened simultaneously.
Mm-hmm. Like two things happened simultaneously. One was. I'm just gonna go and get a job.
Lauren: Yep.
Jen: And then the other one was, now that I'm looking [00:25:00] for a job, I'm gonna look at my debt and I'm going to start asking the creditors or whoever the banks, what I can start doing as soon as I get the job. Yep. And that was a big, like, I, I just pictured in my head, like, somebody like punched my ego out of my head.
You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, it really was that strong.
Lauren: But there's a release that says, and this is actually what has to happen, is when there's so much pressure around the money and not having it. It really is. There has to be something that shifts in order for something to move. And that's was your moment, because when you gave yourself permission to get a job, there was some relief.
And I've also experienced this in my life too. When I was, when I moved home with my parents, there was like the falling down even more and then, and going up. And what allowed me to go on the upswing was I, for about a half a month, I was considering getting a job. And it was a very specific sales job. But in that process, it took the pressure off making business money in my business.
And so, because I started putting effort into maybe getting a [00:26:00] job, just taking the pressure off and being like, oh, I don't have to worry about that. All the money came in, which was the upswing that then two months later I made like $25,000. So it's right that there's like, it's, it's playing with energy and there's a tipping point that has to happen, but you have to go through it.
Jen: Yeah, I think so. And it
Lauren: looks different for everybody, by the way. Everyone's Jo Journey's a little bit different.
Jen: Yeah. And I don't, I. I'm at this point in the way that I, my perspective is around like the money
Lauren: mm-hmm.
Jen: Situation where I don't think that everybody just makes it out. I don't actually think that just because you do a certain amount of like inner work or even like, take a certain amount of action that your business is going to make money.
Lauren: Mm-hmm. I
Jen: think that it, everybody's journey is so different. Yeah. So vastly different. There's not just like two different things that could potentially happen to you. There are numerous things that could potentially happen to you [00:27:00] and numerous levers that you could potentially pull that some people might not have access to.
And like, it's, it's a lot for us Yeah. As humans to even be, you know, within this system that we made up. You know what I mean? And by we, I mean all us obviously. Yeah. But like. Us human race. Us the human race. Like before money trading. Yeah. You know what I mean? And it, that makes sense to me. Yeah. You know, so now we have like this, not even paper, like in some countries they don't even exchange paper and coins.
Yeah. Right. They exchange digital numbers on a screen. It's so weird to conceive of like, oh, this digital number on the screen is telling me how good I am, how much I'm worth, and whether or not I'm worthy of happiness, love, and fulfillment. Like how fucked up is that?
Lauren: You know? Yeah, yeah. Absolutely. And it's, once again, it's always the stories and the [00:28:00] meanings that we're giving it.
Right. And I think that's been, for me and Jen in this new iteration of our businesses, we just have importance on different things mm-hmm. In our business and like measuring ourselves by different ways, which I think is, it makes it more fun in our, like it has made it like way more fun and, and I will be vulnerable right now where.
Once again, I've had these little ups and downs where I've had some moments in my business, and in the end it's always worked out for me. And that's, I'm the, I'm the ultimate, I am the ultimate optimist. And to kind of counter what Jen said up about not everyone being able to make money, or not everyone gonna succeed in business, I actually agree to some extent.
I believe that if you have a desire, like if you really want to make money for your gift or your service, like it's a hundred percent a possibility, but not everyone is gonna do what it takes for it to [00:29:00] happen. And also it might not happen on the timeline that you think it is. And some people give up before that timeline actually comes from to fruition.
Right. So it's, it's a balancing act, right? It's a, I think it's a, being able to. Do the work. But I also think too that if we try to make like where we put the pressure on it, and I think that's where it's like where it becomes hard is when we put the pressure on it. My bus, my advice is somebody that really wants to make money and it's not yet happening in your business, go get a job and make it a fun for you.
And then allow that to make money when you feel safe when you're in a place of safety. Right. And this is actually, I've talked about this before, where I have two parts of my business, the consulting part, and then like the coaching in this podcast where I don't put any pressure on this part to make money for me because when I do, it becomes not fun.
Mm-hmm. Right. And so this is like the big shift that me and Jen have done is just prioritizing, giving ourselves [00:30:00] permission to make money in different ways and not making it mean anything about our businesses. And also making sure that. The things that we actually are really passionate about, continue to stay fun and not pressure, because when we put pressure on it, that makes it harder to make money on it.
Jen: Yeah. I, I will have to say this too, 'cause like this is a different perspective that you're hearing, especially if you listen to the first, um, podcast that we had four years ago. Yeah. Like, there, there is a lot that has been said and potentially is still being said, but I, I don't find myself in those circles.
Mm-hmm. So much. So I, I'm not really sure, um, against like, getting a job. Yep. And so when I decided to get the job, there was a lot of undoing I had to do to make myself feel like I wasn't a huge loser because I got a job. Yeah. Because that was the initial, my initial like response was like, oh, well I guess I'm a loser now 'cause I can't run my business and just be [00:31:00] all in on my business.
Yes. I need to get a job. So slowly by slowly like having a job and then running a program where there are amazing entrepreneurs. Yeah. And the majority of them had a job and a business. Yeah. And it's like, what was that? What, what was I being fed to that I got to a point where I was thinking that if I had a job, I wasn't good enough to run my business or
Lauren: that you had given up or something.
Like, right. There's words that you've given up or that you're not good enough or that. Right. And I think that that, and that's, you're not believing enough. Not believing enough. Right. Because that, and seriously, this is the energy I'm constantly playing with in my business, is taking off the pressure for anything to sell.
That's really the key. And like, not trying to make it, but make it fun. And that's been the BA balance and I'm, ugh, I'm so, so grateful and I'm so proud, and this doesn't mean anything, but like I've been able to stay in business for eight years. But it wasn't all rainbows and daisies. It was allowing the ups and [00:32:00] downs and not making anything mean and never giving up.
And also for me, just never just being like, this is it, but also always being willing to gig at a job if I needed to.
Jen: She's also had her business for almost nine years, not eight years. Yeah, you're right.
Lauren: You're right. That's true.
Jen: Like I, Lauren is one of my primary examples when I talk about people who like are really doing it from a place of like deep passion and purpose.
It, it's like the amount that you've allowed yourself to go through and just running this business in the way that really actually lights you up is like admirable. And it's a great example because. It's so easy to get into something like coaching and think like, you know what, I'm just gonna make a ton of money and blah, blah, blah.
Yeah. And maybe you do and good for you if it works out that way. But like, if it's really something that you feel that deeply connected to, you'll do the same thing as Lauren. You'll know [00:33:00] that the, the business that you're running is really the business that is right for you and your soul if you wanna have that sort of connection with your business, if you're willing to do what she has done.
And it's, it's incredible. I just have to like acknowledge you for that. Yeah. It's,
Lauren: it's literally a labor, labor of love. I say that. Right? Really. And for those that don't know, like I, I don't have kids. I live a very unconventional life. I, I don't want kids. Um, I'm not in a, like a long-term relationship, so I have a lot of free time and the thing that I have been most passionate about is my business and.
Yeah. And this is just like who I am and like who, I just wanna be an example for those that feel the same way because not everyone is willing to sacrifice as much as I have. Right? Like I, for five years gave up dating to like really build my business and like gave up. I constantly am saying no because I'm prioritizing the thing that matters most to me.
And this is [00:34:00] like, I think the core of what our messages in all of these episodes is that it's just coming from this like really authentic, heart driven, passionate place where I wouldn't, I wouldn't do anything else. And also my suc, my definition of success is that I just get to keep on doing this for, for the rest of my life, regardless how much money.
But it's more about the impact now.
Jen: Well that's like so beautiful. Like. I have a very different definition of success. You know what I mean? Like for me at this point in the business that I'm running, like I love it. This is, I have been thinking about self-expression and showing up on video ever since I started in makeup 2009.
Right. Like, but the iteration that I show up in and run my business through is it's, it hasn't been the same. Yeah. It's been through makeup artistry, it's been through running coaching programs. It's been through like getting a job that actually was utilizing that same skillset. Yeah. So it's like the, [00:35:00] the skillset maybe seems more, um, of the part where I'm connected to it through my passion and purpose.
Yeah. But it's not necessarily like the business. Yeah. Right. So if this business that I have right now crumbles and falls, I will probably find a job doing the same thing. Yeah. And then I'll probably go back and have another business, but like. It's just like a different,
Lauren: it's, yeah. And I think, but that's great.
Is like we're all have our different wi whys and reasons of what it is. But for when I look at you like the common like denominator is like just things that light you up. Yeah, totally. Right? And I think, and and I sit here and I'm like, yes, I'm so passionate and I've sacrificed a lot, but I'm sacrificing less and less and less as I am doing this in a way that lights me up, right?
We're getting to travel, getting to live where I want, like the freedom and like the flexibility is more valuable than the money now.
Jen: Yes. That I agree with. And like always
Lauren: having enough and like, you know, like, and I think now that's like, then that's really what I help my [00:36:00] clients do and especially in my embodiment programs and my effortless sales and marketing.
The strategy comes second. The first is the embodiment piece, the who, our being while we're doing it, because we can be taking all the actions from a place of not really believing, having lack being just not burnt out and it not sticking. Or we can be taking the actions feeling like really lit up, really passionate, really connected, really authentic.
Jen: Yeah. And you know what's interesting, as you were saying that just now is like, oh, it is like, so as a brand strategist, right? Mm-hmm. Like as a brand strategist, I think about strategy allies. Yeah. But I think we actually come from the same core. Yeah. Meaning like the strategy that I wanna help people find mm-hmm.
Whether it be for business or for their brand. Mm-hmm. It, it needs to come from that same place that you're working from. Right. So like the strategy, I'm great at writing a strategy. Right. You know what I mean? But. If I don't know who you are at your core, if I don't know [00:37:00] who your business is at its core, if you don't know who your business is at its core, it's gonna be really, really hard to create a strategy, because I'm not here to put lipstick on a pig.
And this is something that my, um, brand strategy coach says all of the time, right? She's like, I'm not here to train brand strategists to like dress something up and make, make pretend that they're who they're, they say they are. Right. We really wanna find out who you are and help express that. Because number one, it's, it makes everything infinitely easier when you don't have lie and keep on upholding the lie.
Right? Right, right. So it's like, let's find out who you really are, you as a personal brand, you as a corporate brand, and let's express that novel idea. You know what I mean? Right. Which is different too from like, you know. I'm not saying that we used to run our business a different way, but there was much more of a show happening, especially for me for sure.
Totally.
Lauren: Yeah, absolutely.
Jen: My end nose is ing again. [00:38:00] We'll clap to come back one second.
Lauren: Maybe. What were you
Jen: just talking
Lauren: about?
Jen: Mm-hmm. Putting on a show and not putting the lipstick on a pig we're talking about like,
Lauren: but I was trying to think, I was gonna tell a story from there, but hold on. Okay. So it was like, oh yeah, I was gonna tie it by the same, that same core as what is been Sales.
Okay, go ahead.
Jen: Okay.
Lauren: Yeah, absolutely. And this core, right, talking about the work of how our work overlaps and kind of how we've always overlapped is through this connecting to who you really, really are and taking that and then applying it to sales, which is like through that embodiment, right? And like when you are taking, when you're making your brand as an extension of who you really are, it's effortless when you make your offers and you make your marketing as from an extension of who you really are.
It's effortless, right? And I see this all the time where when people are trying to make offers that they are trying to like oversell themselves or like make [00:39:00] bigger results than they really are, which then they have to stretch and they don't really believe it and they're like, it feels out of an integrity.
So to me, our ability just to be ourselves, knowing that we're enough right now, and then create offer and branding and everything based off of who we are, that's just, it's it's way, it's way easier than trying to have to put on a show, which is what we really talked about in the last episode. Right. Which is like, we think we need to, we think we need to be somebody else in order for people to buy from us.
And that's not really how it is.
Jen: Yeah, it's not, it's so crazy to even have that idea in our minds. Yeah. But all that to say, like the way that things used to be when. Just recording a video wasn't as accessible. Yeah. It's like it was always a show. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like you think about the first radio shows, radio ads, like episodic, like anything [00:40:00] shows Yeah.
Come from it. It comes from selling ads. Yeah. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. It's like the reason why shows even existed was so that ads could exist to sell you something. So this is like, from our history, right? It's like,
Lauren: and now, right? And now it's like you think about TikTok and all the videos where people are getting made, like getting paid and make, becoming viral, having millions of views for like wearing your pajamas or like having, like doing like Get ready with mes.
You know what I mean? Yeah. So, um, but we digress a little bit. Let's go back to Money. Money. Um, Jen, here's what I wanna know. 'cause once again, I just, you're such a great example of. What's possible and what I really wanna remember, like remind everybody is there is like a time when Jen did not think that she was gonna come back and have her own business or had a desire for it.
Oh, totally. You're right. Right? Mm-hmm. And this is just one of those things where I believe, really [00:41:00] believe that there's timing for everything. Mm-hmm. Right? And the thing that fucks us up the most with money and results is thinking it's not here yet, or thinking it should be faster. Mm. And there's this detachment that we have to almost do around money, right?
Where Yes, of course. Like we wanna set goals, we want, we wanna, we're, the reason we are in business is to make money. I want you to make money. I want you to make a lot of money. But it's our ability to take the pressure off of it and not make it mean anything. Right. It gets to be fun. It gets to be like.
Just the icing on the cake to get paid for the thing we that we love to do.
Jen: Yeah. Yeah. I mean like, man, money is like that thing where I didn't have the confidence in [00:42:00] myself. Like if we're talking about that type period of like me getting the job and not thinking that I was gonna have a business ever again.
I remember saying that to you too, right? Like, I don't know if I'm ever gonna go back into business again. I just don't. Yeah. And what I wasn't, I don't think I was saying this out loud, but like what I wasn't trusting was in myself to be able to make money in a business again. Yeah. Right. And then recently I had left my job in very amicable.
Yeah. With my ex-boss, who I have a lot of respect for, but I had this resurgence of confidence in myself. Yeah. To be able to make money again in a business. And not only that, like. Oh, it, it's actually more secure. Yeah. For me to believe in me than on, than for me to like be leaning so heavily on someone else to make sure that the money is coming into their business so that they could pay me yeah's, [00:43:00] like that got heavy after a while.
Yeah. And I think I had to go through that arc to get here where I'm like, okay, even if I'm just making my, if I'm making ends meet right now, it actually feels better than making a surplus or an abundance of money, even if that was coming in regularly. Yeah. I don't know what it is about, but something shifted and I think it's the way that I feel about my life.
Absolutely.
Lauren: So what I wanna know is if you can go back to yourself, I want go back to the version of you that. It was, this is like before you looked at your bank account, before you went down that road and like got there, like,
Jen: before I looked at my bank account. Are you talking about like Yeah. As I was crumbling that version as you're
Lauren: No, I, maybe I just wanna say like, what advice would you give your past self?
Right. Oh my goodness. What, what do you want? I, I just would love to know. Wow. Good. That's a good
Jen: question. If I [00:44:00] was talking to the past version of myself, the one who hadn't looked at the bank account yet, I think the only advice that I would give myself is that I don't think it's advice. I think I would be, I'd say what you would say.
You're going to be okay. Yeah. Yeah. It's gonna be me crying. Oh my gosh.
Lauren: I, I too, because like, that's the crux of the work that I do with all my clients is getting to a place that you're gonna be okay. And like when you can get, okay. That's where like. Yeah, every like, that's where like money, like everything comes.
Jen: Yeah. I didn't, and I really like that version of me really didn't believe that I was going to be, yeah.
So I don't think I would've taken any advice at that point in time. Yeah. You know what I mean? I think I would've been like, fuck you. And like, but I think that's agree. And so the only thing I could have heard was that maybe, yeah,
Lauren: and I think depending on where you're at with [00:45:00] money, and maybe somebody needs to hear this, but sometimes just being in it, like being in the emotions for a really long time is, is actually the thing is what moves you forward, which is what gets you out because you're actually finally feeling and facing all the fear.
All of those underlying, what I call emotional coding. All the things are neat that you were, that you were avoiding, because that's what I've done. If you aren't looking at your bank account, if you tend to avoid things around money, then. This work, you looking into it, you leaning into it is the way to more money into safety, into knowing that you're gonna be okay.
Jen: Oh yeah, totally. I mean, like avoiding becomes like, it's slowly what it feels like is you're just like building a wall slowly. Yeah. And soon you're just not gonna be able to see past the wall. Yeah. And that wall is all of this built up pent up emotion. Yeah. And like not letting yourself, and sometimes [00:46:00] it's like you're crying a lot, but you're not releasing anything.
Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like there's something about like a real true connection to those emotions. Yeah. And a really deep, cathartic cry or whatever you might need. That is the difference for me, like in the, in thinking about like how true emotion is released instead of like letting it become more trauma in the body or whatever.
Absolutely. You know,
Lauren: and. I've talked about how I've had lots of ups and downs with money and the what continues to get me to be able to get on the upswing when I'm on a down is through releasing emotional coding in my body, which is through regulating my nervous system and feeling safe. So that's always the way through is like the shifting and it's just not smoking hopium and like saying positive affirmations because I can't tell you how many times I would just be like, oh, just think positive.
Just think positive. But you don't really believe, and that's a dangerous place [00:47:00] to be because you're the world we, we work on our vibrations on like who we're being, not what we're not what we want to be.
Jen: Yeah. I mean, smoking hopium is so funny. Like, we used to talk about that so much. Yeah. You know, but like, yeah, like, uh, and I think
Lauren: at one point me and you were smoking some hopium de Right?
Definitely. I mean, and I think there's a balance of like, honestly, like, to get to where I am right now, and also go through the ups and downs and like get from, like, when I'm like, oh crap, like, and this happens rare. I'm like, okay, beginning of the month I'm like, I'm not where I wanna be. How do I get to where I wanna go?
Is a little, honestly, being a little d Lulu and just being like, Nope, I'm, I'm like, it's like being all in and consistently shifting my emo my energy, but then also being honest with myself, being like, okay, now this feels a little bit like I'm smoking pot and let me go back and feel the emotions. So there's this like, constant battle of checking in, like, does this feel right in my body?
Like my, your body's always telling you and keeping the score around money. [00:48:00] So if you wanna know how you're feeling around money, just tune into your body and it's gonna, it's gonna show you where, what needs to be released.
Jen: You know what? It feels really good. Now.
Lauren: What,
Jen: actually, I was thinking this, so this morning I was like working on my budgeting my money.
Mm-hmm. Lauren actually walked in. I did. I was like, what'd you do in French? She's like, like, budgeting? Budgeting. I was like, oh, perfect. Today's the day we're gonna record the budgeting podcast. The money. The money. My pod, podcast. Podcast. Um, I feel really neutral. Yeah. About my money. Yeah. Um, in fact, it feels better for me to have like, distributed the money to all my different accounts mm-hmm.
Than it does to like sit there and look at the big chunk
Lauren: Yeah.
Jen: That I might have made from like whatever payment came in.
Lauren: Yeah.
Jen: But in the past it used to, it used to be different. Yeah. Like I used to love seeing that giant chunk just sitting in my checking account ready for me to spend. Yeah. You know what I mean?
Mm-hmm. And now it's like, okay, immediately where do I put it? Where do I put [00:49:00] this portion of it? This portion of it, you know? Yeah. And it's on my Big O card for this year. So my girlfriend's here and I, we actually made 2025. You would've loved this activity. Okay. I wish you were here for that. But I wish I was too.
I'm
Lauren: already having fomo,
Jen: but we made like 20, 25 bingo cards. Mm-hmm. And like goals on the card. Oh, fun. So you could like, we'll see who hits a bigo. You know, I love this. And on my 2025 Bingo card is learn how to invest. So I love that 41-year-old woman who hast done a lot of investing. I used to have like a 401k or something, like in my corporate job.
Mm-hmm. But I, one of my friends here, she's actually like a finance coach. Mm-hmm. Or somebody who teaches you how to invest. And I'm like, okay, this is the year. Yeah. Like I am getting serious about this. Which is crazy because like I said before, had I done this when I was making. Buckets of money. Yeah. It, it might've been a little bit different for me, but I just had it come to the point of awareness Yeah.
[00:50:00] That I, that I'm at right now. Yeah. Until now, you know.
Lauren: Exactly.
Jen: Yeah.
Lauren: So crazy. I know. It really has been a
Jen: fucking
Lauren: rollercoaster. A rollercoaster. I mean, honestly, I think my relationship with money has been one of the hardest things and one of the things that I really have had to do the most work with as an entrepreneur.
Yes, a hundred percent. Because going into my business, I kind of, yeah, I wasn't really super secure about money. I was kind of like always, like, I remember specifically never wanting a lot of money, and it wasn't until like later I was like, oh wait, like having more money gives you more freedom and more, more resources that I then desired more money.
And I also think there was a point where I like were we both kind of, were like a little money obsessed, right? Because we were, once again, the. What we were making money mean Yes. Meant everything. And now that's successful. And now it's a little bit like, eh, i, I, yeah, it's great. I'm making money, but it's not, it's, it's not the thing.
It is not the thing. And I think even [00:51:00] as a coach, I don't even talk about money as much anymore because it doesn't feel the same to me. I want my clients, yeah, they want the money, but ultimately they want the freedom. They wanna feel lit up, they want the impact. It's just not about the money. And I think that people that are just after the money are a different type of person that are doing it for so many other reasons.
Jen: Yeah. It's true. I think that your people are actually looking for the same or similar things that you're looking for. Yeah. Right. Like I think that it's, I, I feel like my, my business now has nothing really to do with money. It has a lot to do with like self-expression. Yeah. Or like learning how to like do these technical things, but.
I think because of what has shifted in me Yeah. The people who are like attracted to working with me Yeah. Are moneyed. I mean, like it's, yeah. They're monetized a struggle. Meaning like I don't have to talk someone into feeling okay [00:52:00] about putting money on their credit card. 'cause I don't actually want somebody, I don't want you to put my services on a credit card.
Like please pay for it if you have budgeted for it and know that you're going to be spending this and investing this in your video or your content, whatever it might be. But like, yeah, it's, it's different. Like, wow. I do definitely remember the coaching industry when it was like, yeah, have them pull out their credit card and if they have to split it between two Yeah.
It's like, what are you fucking talking about? And also
Lauren: too is somebody who has multiple times worked with clients who they, they couldn't afford the coaching and they, the pressure to have this coaching work to make the money. Made it hard for them to make the money. Yes. Right. So if like, if you are somebody that are thinking about investing in yourself or in a coach and you can't really afford it, think of an option that you can afford because the pressure that you're going to put on yourself to actually make the money, it, [00:53:00] it's the hardest way to make money.
Oh my God. So you have to fully believe, and I always say this, if you're investing, it should feel like, like you fully believe in an investment, not a risk. If you feel like, if it feels like a risk yes, then don't do it. Right. And me and Jenna like talked about like, this is like a big thing about moving forward and are, and even why there was wasn't resistance to even talk about money and talk about success the way we used to is because I think that there was some overstretching and like convincing people to.
Buy when they couldn't afford it. And I think there's still guilt from that.
Jen: Yes. A hundred percent. Right? Yeah, you're absolutely right. We're, and we're like,
Lauren: no, we're not gonna do that anymore. And in fact, I say that all the time on in master classes or when people I'm on the phone, like, I can't tell you how many times I've like told somebody that, no, this isn't the right fit because it's just, it, the money isn't right for you.
And I just never want somebody to feel pressure.
Jen: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Like I want, and that actually helps
Lauren: Yeah.
Jen: In setting your rates as well. Yeah. Because like Yep. It, it isn't actually cheap to work with me and I [00:54:00] know that, but I do know the quality of what I deliver is worth what I'm charging. Yep. And so I put out a lot of free resources Yep.
Is on my YouTube channel.
Lauren: Yep.
Jen: And you could. Absolutely follow everything that I'm putting out there on my YouTube channel and figure out how to create your channel and shoot quality video and all of that great stuff. So I feel good about saying, Hey, this is how much I charge.
Lauren: Right? And
Jen: if you can't afford it, that's okay.
You know what I mean? Like I'm, there are people who charge less. You, you can work with them. Right? And I'm not, I'm not here to convince you to pull out a credit card.
Lauren: And I think that that's what we need to really think about when we think about who our ideal clients are. It's like not everyone is our ideal client if they don't have the money, because it's not right if they're not at the level.
And for my business, and me and Jen are kind of in different, have different models, I really wanted to make it so that I had offers at every single level. So [00:55:00] whether you wanna have get stuff for free, I have so many free masterclasses. I offer free monthly coaching calls for my community, and I have low price items, like a couple hundred dollars.
I have a couple thousand dollars offers and then I also have, you know, multiple, I mean that go, offers that go up to 10,000. Right. So to me it was really important that I have an offer suite where people can meet them where they're at. And what my hope is, is that if you can't afford to work with me, then come to my free calls.
Because what I'm actually doing on all of my free calls and all of my master classes is actually giving you the tools that I use for my clients and me that get, that get results. So I want everyone to be, and like ideally what I want is come, come get all my free stuff, start making money, and then you love me so much you wanna work with me and then you wanna pay me.
Jen: Yeah. Like make the money free stuff and make it first, and then come, and then come pay and then come work with me. Which is so different, right? Wildly different. Totally taught. So I'm really
Lauren: like we all, me and Jen, our goal is to [00:56:00] help you like show the fuck up and make money. Yeah. And like, however that is, like, that's what we really want for you and we want you guys to be able to get that for free.
Yeah. Just being consuming our content and podcasts and everything else we do. Coaching the free calls.
Jen: Yeah. Yeah. It's such a different way to look at it. Yeah. And it feels, you know what, I think, okay, so I, I don't wanna forget to say this point. Mm-hmm. Something has shifted too, in that I know you started living in ul, the, in 2021.
Mm-hmm. Right. I didn't start living in Mexico until 2023.
Lauren: Mm-hmm.
Jen: So two years later, um, Lauren finally was like the bug in my ear that I was like, okay, fine. I'll, let me see what this is about, you know? But something about living in Mexico and then having to figure out so much from the language to getting around without a car, to figuring out, like food, how language, like everything.
Language, everything. But like, there's something super [00:57:00] fulfilling about all of it. Mm-hmm. Figuring it all out, that it almost replaces the like. Instant gratification because of the large paychecks that you get from easily living in the United States. And then like having your lifestyle inflation be such a thing that you're forever chasing a higher paycheck, but also a bigger house and also a better car.
Yeah. And I don't feel like we have that here. Like I don't actually feel that same sort of like comparison or pressure.
Lauren: Yeah.
Jen: And so something about that too plays into I think what's happening now with both of our money mindset. Exactly.
Lauren: Because we, yeah, living in Mexico is a very different experience from the United States also.
It's just the way that Americans spend, it's like keeping up with the Joneses, like having multiple cars. I haven't owned a car in four years. Like you don't own a car. You haven't owned a car in many years. Four years too, right? Four years as well. And um, you know, I think that like in the states when you, somebody's like, yeah, I don't have a car.
You kind of like judge [00:58:00] a little bit. You're like, what can you not afford? Right? There's like weird connotations that go around with it. But here. In Mexico, it's like kind of normal not to have a car. Like I, yeah, I lived in like a small little town. Eventually after two years I bought a little scooter and like, I get around on a scooter, by the way, you guys, I fill up my, my tank once a week and it's a hundred pesos, which is $5.
So I get around on my scooter for $5 a week. So granted, like we're, you know, we're comparing apples and oranges. It's, you know, it depended on where you, you're living and what, but for me and Jen, I think the point that you're making is that we literally have pulled ourselves out of our environment of, of what, how much it costs to live.
And we have refin ourselves by not needing as much. And just because like Mexico and the way of life and the way of life around here, it's less materialistic. So I find ourselves buying less Oh, and needing less as well. Yeah. Which then has allowed us to have way less need for money, which then has taken off the pressure.
Right. So it's just been, we've done this like [00:59:00] flip where we have really found like the joys of life. And like been able to live on very little, which then has allowed us to find a safety. And from there we're both growing our businesses and a lot more money and flow are coming in.
Jen: It's so crazy too, 'cause like to say something like this, especially if you're listening in from the US or Canada or a place that's like very expensive to live, um, it's hard to listen and be like, well that's nice for you.
Yeah. You know what I mean? You get to live in Mexico. But what I wanna say is that it wasn't easy to do this, you know what I mean? It was actually a very conscious choice to like move out of that space and into this space. Yeah. And we all get to make decisions like that if it's within our sphere and within our ability to do so.
Yeah. And I do feel super grateful for having the privilege to be able to do that and Exactly. I
Lauren: would say we are pri we are actually privileged for sure to be able to be here, especially with everything going on in the states right now. Yeah. So,
Jen: so, [01:00:00] wow.
Lauren: Well. This is, I think, the exact conversation that we wanted to have.
It's not your typical money conversation. No. It's not about making, I mean, it's about making a lot of money, but it's not about making a lot of money. And I think that me and Jen had to go through a lot of ups and downs to get here and also know that there's gonna continue to be ups and downs throughout entrepreneurship.
That's what it is. And the thing I'm most grateful for and that I cultivated in myself is my ability to be okay no matter what, and my ability to keep on going no matter what. And my ability to keep on selling no matter what. And that's also in all of you too.
Jen: Yeah. I have to say, same for me. Yeah. In a way is like, I'm grateful that I made it through that crazy s.
Time. I'm grateful to be here because me being here means that I did make it through. Yeah. Like this is a [01:01:00] marker of me being like very, okay.
Lauren: No, this we, you know, two, three years ago, even a year ago, this would never have been. No, there's
Jen: no way.
Lauren: No. It's only like recently that Yeah. I was able to convince Jen to do this.
It was an easy convincing though.
Jen: It was. I was like, wow, this actually feels like very in alignment. So yeah. Grateful to be here.
Lauren: And I, I don't, I think I say this for me and Jen, but I don't think there's anywhere else we'd rather be than right here, right now. No, this is great with you guys.
Jen: This is perfect.
Lauren: Yeah. Yeah. This is like our, this is success and happiness and this is, this is worth more than all the money.
Jen: Yeah. And I wish this for all of you too. Yeah.
Lauren: Yeah. Sending love.
Jen: Hi.
Bye.