Episode 8
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[00:00:00]
Jen: Hello.
Lauren: Hey,
Jen: we back. We back.
Lauren: Where do we even start today?
Jen: Let's talk about how yesterday. Mm-hmm. We recorded three. Three podcasts. Yes. And did a photo shoot. And did a photo shoot. And that was probably the most amount of work I've done in months. Yeah. In one day it was a lot
Lauren: of expended energy. Yes. I mean, we've been, so for those that don't know, I've been in Mexico City all week long for the last six days, staying and living with Jen and having a blast, and we've [00:01:00] been.
All of these episodes, all eight of them we did in six days. So we are on a little bit of a marathon, and it really has been this, I'll say game of finding our flow, but yet knowing that we have a certain amount of time mm-hmm. To get things done. And the last episode that we, or one of the last episodes that we recorded was about.
Not being in the hustle, right? It was about like following our energy and, um, yeah, just being in alignment with ourselves, which is what we're gonna talk deeper about today. But I woke up this morning and mentally I felt fine. I was like, yay, another day I'm happy. But I kind of found myself like wandering around the house, like kind of feeling like a little bit off and a little bit lost.
And I like, gave myself a check, just sit with my body and then like tears just started rolling down my face and I was like, what? What's going on? And I realized that I'm just so exhausted and this is [00:02:00] like my way, my body's way of just being like, whoa, slow down, or pay attention to us.
And I had to take time this morning. We, we had a, yeah, we had a little bit longer and go get myself into alignment and take a walk and go get green juice and. Cry a little bit and just like let it all come out. But this just reminded me like this is, these are the ups and downs. This is the moments. But the most important thing is putting ourselves first and really listening to ourselves and to our bodies, and learning really how to go with that flow.
Jen: Yeah. I think it's about this ongoing process of learning to listen to your body. Yeah. I don't know that we. Master this unless maybe you become a monk or you know, like I think that we as human beings are just in this constant state of learning. The communication Yeah. Between mind, body, and spirit. And the more we make the [00:03:00] conscious effort to like tune in
Lauren: mm-hmm.
Jen: Maybe that's when it becomes easier and easier, but. I still think we probably die in a state of learning and not necessarily mastery. Yeah, I dunno. No, absolutely disagree with me if you think No,
Lauren: no, I, I think that you're spot on. I mean, I think that that, you know, do you. I think that Entrepr, one of my favorite things about entrepreneurship is I'm a forever student.
So it really is the perfect place to just always be evolving and learning and getting better at it. And it is humbling to be, be eight years in. 'cause I thought, you know, like eight years ago I'd be like, oh yeah, in eight years I'm like, everything's gonna be easy and it's gonna, you think it's gonna look different, but there's like new levels, new devils, and so there's always next.
Well, challenges or things that we don't know, but if that's, I think the evolution of learning how to trust yourself. And I think that one of the biggest, , blessings and skills that me and you have both [00:04:00] infused into our business is really learning to listen to, like our inner guidance, our inner voice in our body.
And about four. So after four years of my, my business, the first four years were very like hustling and it was around 2020 when we, me and Jen actually both did Bella Lively's in her voice facilitator training, and I helped her in the first round. I helped her. Put together that program and little did I know when that happened, that that piece of like learning how to get out of my mind and into my body and into my inner guidance was then gonna be the most valuable thing that I could ever do was like finally able to like tap in and like really trust myself, really hear myself.
Then that's the thing that actually led me to traveling and all the things that I couldn't even imagine beyond my mind. How did it lead to traveling? So in 2020 when we were all, you know, inside [00:05:00] and not being social, I spent a lot of time connected to myself and just listening to myself and developing that skill of getting outta my head and like really listening to that voice.
So I like, through journaling, through, speaking out loud through other people holding space for me, I developed that skill of listening to that voice. So a year and a half later. When I was sitting on a beach in Mexico and there was just this super strong knowing that that's what I was meant to do.
Mm. I was able to hear it and then take action on it, which forever changed my life in the most amazing way.
Jen: Yeah. I think this is an important topic for those of us, especially who. Often become, , disconnected to self. Mm-hmm. Or what's the word we use? Dis we dissociate. Yeah. And this could be like a trauma response or just, just a response in general from growing up.
Mm-hmm. And in a time when we were meant to be seen and not heard, our [00:06:00] feelings were too much and we were meant to stop crying immediately or else I'll give you something to cry about. Right? Yep. And I think that it's. Interesting. Especially when we're talking to people over 40 people who are like elder millennials and Gen Xs.
Mm-hmm. About like. What the mechanisms are that we follow in order to take the next steps that we need to for our businesses because, uh, yes, there is like, you know, a prescriptive strategy, do A, B, C, D, E, and F and so on, all of these steps. Mm-hmm. And you'll have a successful, well-oiled machine of a business.
I think that there's a lot that's left out about who we are, how we feel, like, how we're actually moving through those steps. Yeah. And I think this
Lauren: is kind of what we're talking about right now, right?
Jen: Yeah,
Lauren: yeah. Absolutely. And I think, the universe is always giving us what we need. So I know that this is [00:07:00] coming up so that we can really share this from me being in this morning and remembering that , we're always being guided, we're always, there's something inside of us and.
I think my most, like the most valuable thing beyond being able to access to my inner voice is really my relationship with my feelings and my ability to feel my feelings and not being afraid to process my feelings, and also understanding that you can have, like Jen said, you can have all of the strategy, but the reason why most people don't get the results is because they actually don't take the steps of the strategy or they're not aligned.
While doing it, right? So they're just doing them to do them rather than being connected. So there's a deeper part of the emotions sitting in our body. So let me give an example. My first year of my business, I was at a mentorship where we were doing Facebook ads. I didn't love it and I just felt like I was checking off the boxes doing it because I was told to do it, but I wasn't [00:08:00] connected to it.
I didn't love it. I wasn't. Emotionally dri, like driven by it. So it felt really heavy. It felt heavy in my body. Versus now when I am creating my business and I'm doing it through organic marketing and through referrals, like it feels really good. I really believe in it. So there's a very different feeling around the actions.
Can I ask you a
Jen: question?
Lauren: Yeah.
Jen: So what do you think about, 'cause there's a whole bucket of action. And to-dos and all of the things. What do you think about the actions and the to-dos that we hate doing? Mm-hmm. How do you handle or how do you decide? , How do you move forward if the things that are the next steps are steps that you're not actually a fan of?
Yeah, absolutely.
Lauren: You know, I think that in every business, and especially in the beginning of your business, we're wearing many hats. And I think that there's a time and a place where. It makes sense to outsource the [00:09:00] things that you don't like, but when you're in a place where you're still doing everything, I will allow myself to do it.
Not liking it sometimes, right? Like I think that in the past, and I think there's a few different things here. I think in the past I've tried to use mindset work to brainwash myself into thinking I like it, but that doesn't really work because deep down inside like our bodies, like our bodies are always keeping score.
We know if we're gonna, if we are connected to something or we're not, and when I don't wanna do something, I will do it anyways. Right. It's one of those things where , I'll, sometimes I have to listen to music, get a little bit, just in a little bit of a better mood, then I'll take the action. But I try to do the things that I don't wanna do first, so that then after that, I can move on to the things that are more fun for me.
So
Jen: in the context of alignment? Mm-hmm. Uh, how do you personally advise people? Because the Facebook ad [00:10:00] step Yeah. In that Mastermind was potentially, could potentially have been a necessary step mm-hmm. That you just didn't like. Because here's the thing, right? This is, this is the question that's really popping up in my head.
Yeah. There's a ton of people who are averse to content creation. Mm-hmm. Averse to like. Getting their face on video, verse two, showing up and learning how to do the hard thing. But this is the hard thing. Yeah. Showing up and being completely yourself as much as you possibly can. Giving your opinion to the internet, who is notoriously Yeah.
Known for tearing people apart. Yeah, to shreds. Right. So like how, because I have my own ideas, right? Yeah. Of how I can. Have a conversation around it or what it might be, but like what is, what is your like protocol for, it's not Facebook ads now, but for things, steps to dos that you're, you don't feel like are in alignment with who [00:11:00] you are as a person.
We're here to ask the easy questions. I'm just kidding.
Lauren: Well, I mean like, sorry. I feel like the way that you're asking it, it's like confusing my mind because if something's not in alignment with somebody, I wouldn't have them do it.
Jen: Okay. Sorry, I shouldn't have used that word. I should. So some people don't like doing content.
Lauren: Okay. If they don't wanna do content, then they shouldn't do content. However, if they're like, I know that this is the way I wanna go, and right now I'm not yet the person that likes it. Yes, that's the question. Then not, okay, then this is a whole other thing. Right? So my thing is, if somebody doesn't wanna do it, I don't try to convince somebody to do anything they don't wanna do.
But if the person is like, I want to become the person that likes it, that's a whole different mindset and whole different, what if they don't even want to
Jen: become the person who likes it?
Lauren: Then why would they be doing
Jen: it? Because they know that the way right now. Yeah. Like the most, we have an advantage right now where we don't have to pay to use any of these free platforms to, to create awareness for your business.
Right. [00:12:00] Right. It's absolutely free to get on Instagram, Facebook threads, Twitter, TikTok, right. YouTube, all of it. And it's a free like. Channel. Mm-hmm. To market yourself through. Right. And your business. So it's basically you not paying anything for leads, for potential clients. And so when people are like, I wanna grow my business to X amount and I don't wanna use social media, I'm like, I'm actually not the person for you.
Which is fine because like you said, yeah. , I'm not trying to talk them into it. Yeah. If there's this thing where they're like, and I don't wanna like it, but I, I do wanna use it. What do we do then? I don't think there's any amount of getting into alignment. No. But I think that, that someone could do to like do
Lauren: the thing, but I think it's about them changing the way they're looking at it.
Okay. Agree. Right. And I think that's it, right? Where it's like they have to get into a place where , okay, maybe this is a means to end. But it's gonna feel heavy and it's gonna feel hard if they're just doing it to do it. So there [00:13:00] has to be an actual internal shift in order for them to do it successfully.
Jen: Yeah, I, I, I agree
Lauren: with that. Right. So it's like that they can't do the internal shift shift and just don't do it. Now what I'm saying, it doesn't show up. It doesn't mean that you're gonna show up and , like it the whole time. In fact, it took me years to really get good at social media and perfect it.
And in this case, which I think you're a actually asking, which is to help the my client do it scared. Help them do it in the emotions. Yes. To help them see that the actual way to get through is the facing it. Like the going through it and then the truly, not just doing it to do it 'cause somebody said and check off the motions, but allowing yourself to feel it.
Allowing yourself to be like, what is scary about this? Oh, I'm gonna show up. Allowing yourself to cry about it. Allow yourself to like actually face the fears that it is and move through it. But what that requires is releasing the emotions and doing it scared and doing it while it's hard, because eventually it's gonna get easier.
And I think that's the biggest thing. Whereas if you're an entrepreneur, there's a part of you that [00:14:00] already is willing to do hard things and is willing , to learn. And I think that's why these identities around everything is figure edible. I can figure it out. Is such a huge part of going into entrepreneurship because you're going to have to be quiet to do things that we might not love, but your ability to become the person that can get in a place where it feels good to do it.
Not that it has to be perfect, but you can change the way you're looking at it so that it makes sense. It's not gonna feel good all the time. I think that would be lying if we're like, I'm always in alignment, always feeling good, but. I have tools and I have things that I do that when things are really hard and it doesn't feel right, I will stop and I have no problem stopping and shifting my emotion and going back to what I was doing.
And I think that's a huge part of entrepreneurship is being able to like ride the waves of our emotions. And sometimes we're gonna be able to stop and actually get into alignment and that is the right thing to do. And there's sometimes [00:15:00] when the alignment is doing it scared. Feeling bad. I think it's interesting
Jen: to talk about this in the context of entrepreneurship because I think it's still rarely discussed.
Mm-hmm. The, the concept around what to do with our, our emotions mm-hmm. As entrepreneurs. Mm-hmm. Because I think that entrepreneurship is emotional, like super emotional and. Maybe I'm saying this from the point of view of a neurodivergent, you know, woman mm-hmm. Who's like pre-menopausal, all the good things happening.
You know what I mean? Yeah. But , I used to envy, like watching. Men, neurotypical, privileged white men like ram through walls as entrepreneurs and just brush things off, or, that's what it seemed like it was looking like. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like Tim Ferris [00:16:00] in that book four hour Week. Yeah.
And all, everything that Tim Ferris ended up. Building. I remember reading that book and learning about him and then having all kinds of self-judgment. 'cause there is no way I, my brain cannot do the things that his brain has done and ha, you know, is doing. Um, and that's just because I'm an individual and I'm not him.
You know what I mean? Yeah. And that's fine. Right? Like I've come to a place of self-acceptance and. It's interesting to see an example like that and then look at it, my own life example and be like, well, I am emotional. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? And then what alignment looks for him is one thing. And I, yeah.
If I'm comparing myself to him and constantly out of alignment, do you know what I mean? Yeah. And the ups and downs that are being, uh. Unveiled or, uncovered through entrepreneurship. [00:17:00] Yeah. It's like a lot that we don't even talk about, like we don't have a lot of tools to deal with all of the
Lauren: things that we're going through as entrepreneurs.
Yeah. And I, I love that you're giving this as an example because I think that's one of, and I've done this and I know you've done this, where like we try to compare ourselves to other people being like, oh, if they're doing it, I should be able to do it. But we're not all meant to do things. The same way fe like we're all built actually all of us, even males, females, some females are built differently.
Like we're all very differently inside. And so when we're putting the pressure to be like somebody else, when it's not really aligned to us and that's not gonna like move us forward, right? That's not, that's not the thing that we have to do. However, to address like the emotional part of this, I happen to think that emotions are superpower and I think that.
When we learn, I'll, let me start, say this. Your emotions are a double-edged sword, okay? [00:18:00] Your emotions are either gonna keep you back and, and keep you stuck, or they can move you forward and they're the actual thing that's going to create what you want. We live in a law of attraction world. If we go down to the basis of it, it's, it's vibrations.
It's our ability to feel something. And when we're not connected to our feelings, there's a disconnect that can be out of alignment. So for example, when I was first learning, when I was first growing my business to a hundred thousand dollars and I was saying like, I believe I can make a hundred thousand dollars.
I believe I can make a hundred thousand dollars, but I really didn't actually believe I can make, it didn't feel real in my body. And this is where my term like smoking hopium comes in, right? And because it's our emotions that actually determine what feels real and what doesn't feel real. And when we don't truly believe we can do something or.
We're not connected to our emotions, then that's what's gonna, that's actually the block that's keeping us, us in our way. So when we can learn how to release those emotions, it's going to allow [00:19:00] us to then take the actions that we wouldn't before. And the other side too, is when we're in an emotion, when we know how to intentionally go from a negative emotion to feeling a good emotion, that is the actual shift.
And that is when you feel good. Then you're in a different state and actions feel differently when you're feeling good.
Jen: What is, so, where's the line drawn between doing this, whatever it might be? Mm-hmm. To go from feeling bad to feeling good and gaslighting yourself.
Lauren: Yeah. So I think that that is a practice that I think that takes some time to
build that relationship with yourself. You know, I think, and this is something that I'm always constantly working with myself and my clients, is that when you tune in, when once again going back to our inner voice, when we're getting out of our mind and we're getting instead going into our soul consciousness or our bodies, it's gonna know, it's gonna know that's what the truth is to us.
So we can, our mind can be gaslighting ourself, but when we switch. Get out of our mind and get into [00:20:00] our bodies, get into our soul consciousness. It's gonna tell us a different story. And that's when we're out of alignment with ourselves. That's when we're feeling like we're battling in our mind, like what's gonna tell us a
Jen: different
Lauren: story.
The in your like inner like, so there's actually like an inner voice inside of us. Mm-hmm. Right? That tells us our truth. So when I am in my head and I'm like, my brain is spinning. I can get outta my head, get into my body and go to that place where it's like, oh no, like, everything's okay. Like you're enough right now.
Or like the, like going back to the basics of knowing that everything's gonna be okay. Mm-hmm. So to me, sometimes when we're in our mind now there are times, and I know what you're trying to say, Jen, about this like gaslighting thing, right? Yeah, definitely. 'cause we, me and Jen, we both were in a coaching school that for a while it felt like there was definitely times when we were gaslighting ourself with our tools.
And this is like a very common thing that can happen, right? Yeah. And I don't think it's just that coaching school, right? No, no, no. These are, no, it's all, it's, it's all, yeah, it's all tools. Like my opinion
Jen: is that the tools [00:21:00] are also tools of manipulation. Yeah. And that is not a good or a bad thing. I'm not saying like it's a positive or a negative, but when you're, you have the ability to switch something like that.
Mm-hmm. Like it needs to be manipulated. Like clay is manipulated. Yeah. Right. So like. That's the, that is the question,
Lauren: right? It's like when do you do that and when do you let it be? And I think that's like, I think for me, and I'm in my emotions, I try to let the emotions go as much as I can to a point where I'm like, okay, that was, that was my emotions.
Now let's get into action. And I think sometimes I'm in my emotions and I don't have time to feel it, and I do it anyways, right? So I don't think there's right or wrong. And I think that part of the entrepreneurship is like learning. And sometimes we're gonna do it perfectly and sometimes we're out of alignment.
And I think that's constantly. This battle that we're going, and I don't do it perfectly, sometimes I'm like, for, what was it like a couple weeks ago, I was on a launch and like one night I stayed up till 10 o'clock building on the back. I didn't wanna do it. Every single ounce of me was like, stop this.
But I was like, I gotta get this done, so I did [00:22:00] it. Yeah. And it's like at that point I used delusional thinking to get me through it. Right? No, it's just like the truth, right? Where it's sometimes , and I think that when I'm talking to my clients, they're like, well, when do you really know? And it's like when you stop and you get honest with yourself.
You actually know when you're gaslighting yourself and when you're not. But if you're so stuck in your head that you can't see it. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I mean,
Jen: alignment is like a hard, I think it's a hard topic to discuss. Yeah. And I think we're attempting here, right? Yeah. To like make sense of a difficult topic that's multidimensional and multilayered and I mean.
As far as like, I understand alignment, uh, and as, as much as I practice tuning into myself, I always think that there's space for me to continue learning. And I think a good example for me, mm-hmm. Um, that I have [00:23:00] just recently experienced is knowing that it was time to actually let go of my. My job. Yeah.
You know, and it was nothing. And this is what tells me it was about alignment. Mm-hmm. Right. It. It had nothing to do with how much sense it made for me, meaning logistically, as in how much money I saved, how much money was like sitting in my savings account to allow me to take some sort of sabbatical.
Lauren: Mm-hmm.
Jen: Like it actually did not make sense, and I probably shouldn't have, if that's what I was following. Mm-hmm. Was practical, tactical, looking at like what was in place. Right. But because I. I really can't ignore the way that I feel.
Lauren: Mm-hmm.
Jen: Yep. , I am an ENFP. Mm-hmm. I just learned that. , And so for me it, it's important, right?
Like it's important that I learn how to. Understand the communication of my body Yeah. And [00:24:00] of my emotions because it ended up being a great choice for me. Yeah. I've gotten so much more energy back and inspiration and creativity back from , just taking a rest for a couple of months , and then coming back into my business.
Lauren: Yeah.
Jen: So it was kind of a long, like a long journey that I just. Was on because I started already knowing Yeah. Last summer probably that I was headed in this direction. Right. I, and still last summer, I'm sure we had conversation where I'm like, I'm, I'm definitely never gonna run my own business again.
Right. So like it was a slow unfolding for me. Yeah. It wasn't like an afternoon of knowing, like it wasn't a knowing until the moment that it was, and it was like, okay. Today's the day that I'm gonna send in my letter and you know. Yeah. I remember
Lauren: you calling me, being like, I gotta talk. I have some big things I wanna talk to you about.
Yeah. And you were like in it. And I think that's something that you said that's so key, which is the word timing. [00:25:00] Mm-hmm. Where. We as humans, our minds like we wanna know now, we want like we're the instant gratification. And I think that the thing that really messes us all up so much is the timing. When we think it should be in a timing that it may or may not be.
So for instance, I always think that I should be further along, right? I don't know if you guys ever fall into that. I fall into that trap sometimes where I'm like, I should be, you know, have this more followers, or I should have this more money or whatnot, and. I'm just reminded that we all have our own timelines,
we can like look at other people like, hey, they started the same time I did. They're, you know, they've done this and we truly have our own timelines and our own purpose in this lifetime. Totally it wasn't ready, like you are knowing that this was the time wasn't ready until it was ready and you knew.
Mm-hmm. Right. And I think that's why it sometimes we get so messed up and there can be gaslighting and all of that because. There's an internal knowing, but like the brain's not [00:26:00] yet on board or the brain is taking over and the in the inner knowing is like, oh yeah, this isn't the truth. So I think this is where like some misalignment comes when our mind and our inside internal knowing aren't on the same page.
Jen: Yeah. I could, I could get on more with that. Like, right.
Lauren: Where it's like, I think that's where it's coming from. I have all of the tools to help people. Shift their identity, shift their feelings in the moment, and you can do all the right things. But yet for some reason, that thing, that piece of information, the thing that you know, isn't ready to be revealed yet.
Mm-hmm. And so in that case, there's nothing you can do. You can't mindset your way, you can't like use the tools because sometime it's just a, a matter of timing and also awareness of what you're actually able to see for yourself and let in for yourself.
Jen: I need to ask you this question. 'cause like I, I don't know that there are actually tools to help you shift your [00:27:00] identity.
So I don't know what that means when you say I have the tools to help shift identity.
Lauren: Okay. So that's like a whole other episode
Jen: because I'm like, I've shifted identity and there was no amount of tools except for probably psychedelics that helped me actually do it. That is it. But it comes down to shifting your emotions,
Lauren: right?
So it's like over Oh no,
Jen: it has. It wasn't about shifting my emotions. I will say
Lauren: that I think that there's many different ways for us to get to a new identity, but I definitely know that you There are ways,
Jen: yes, I, I agree. There's many different ways to get to a new identity and I don't know that there's a tool.
I don't know that there's like. Uh, it's such a complex thing. Yeah. Our identity so complex.
Lauren: Totally. And, but to be able to switch it, this is what I teach in my embodiment experiment, is how to do this now. It doesn't happen overnight. So if I will say like, I don't have an instant tube, be like, Hey, do this and you're there.
Fuck no. That's not how it works. Mm-hmm. It's over [00:28:00] time as you're showing up. As you're doing things and as you're taking action, it's actually the action that continues to shift your identity by taking the actions to show yourself who you are. Right? So I think that we have this misconception of like, Hey, I have tools.
Just use this tools and everything's gonna be better now. No, that's not. Mm-hmm. How it works actually. Mm-hmm. It's using that tool or having an awareness or doing things something different over and over and over again that then eventually shifts.
Jen: Yeah, I, I mean, and I can see it being like, you find yourself Yeah, taking different, it's through
Lauren: the actions and, and it's not just like, Hey, I'm gonna, in your identity.
It's not like, okay. And I think that we think about, you know, mindset work. We're like, let me look at my thoughts. Lemme write this down. That's not true Identity. How you actually shift your identity is going and taking the actions as doing something differently and seeing the world differently. So it doesn't actually, your shift identity doesn't shift until you have.
Experience doing something. So you can't just sit down and be like, okay, I had this realization. I'm this new person. [00:29:00] No. How it actually locks in your body is you going out and having that new feelings, new actions, and you do it over and over and over again, and eventually it rewires it,
Jen: I mean. When I think about identity, my brain just goes immediately to like sexuality.
Mm-hmm. Because for me, the thing that had shifted mm-hmm. Identity wise was my sexuality or my sexual orientation. It's funny 'cause identity to me and alignment do belong in the same conversation under specific context. Mm-hmm. Right? Like also career and entrepreneurship and all of that stuff, but like.
I didn't have to do anything. I didn't have to do anything. Mm-hmm. To have a realization about who I had become. Mm-hmm. So it required no actual action. Mm-hmm. For me to actually get into this other identity. I just had this moment of awareness. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? Yeah. So, like, interestingly enough.[00:30:00]
I think what we're talking about, right, when we talk about tools of being able to shift your identity, it's like another tool of awareness. Mm-hmm. It's like helping you become aware of like what you're uncovering within yourself. Yeah. So that you understand yourself at a deeper level. Yeah, but I don't.
This could go into the direction of like putting lipstick on a pig again.
Lauren: Mm-hmm.
Jen: You know what I mean? Like, I am a millionaire. I am a millionaire. Totally.
Lauren: You know? Yeah, absolutely. And I think, I love this conversation because I think that as somebody who is an embodiment coach and a mindset coach, what I wish I could do is like, help my clients like have that shift right away.
And some people it's depends on the level of work in their, in their. Alignment to their awareness that allows something to click or not
Jen: alignment to their awareness, to their aware, to their
Lauren: awareness.
Jen: Right?
Lauren: Like if they are aligned with what they're becoming aware of. Right? [00:31:00] Right. So somebody can have the tools, but they aren't yet connected or in the awareness of what their actual truth is.
So they're using the tools and it could be at that point a little gaslighting or they're, they feel disconnected because they haven't got to that awareness. But when they then align with that awareness, the tools can, and once again, when you're in that awareness for you when, when you realize that like, Hey, I'm gay.
Mm-hmm. Right? Like it was a knowing in your body. It was like a shift that you felt in your body. Right? Right. And I think that for, I'll use the example of like an entrepreneur. It's an identity to see yourself as an entrepreneur or not see yourself as an entrepreneur. Yeah, like, right. So for me, I actually can help people break down the old beliefs that they have around it so that they can see and feel like, here's how an entrepreneur thinks.
Here's how an entrepreneur feels, and give 'em the space to practice to be that until it locks into their body. So I actually think that there are, now that we're talking about this, I think there's a few different ways that it can happen. It can [00:32:00] just happen by time and by your awareness where, once again, I'm talking about our mind versus our soul consciousness.
Our soul consciousness is our truth. Right? Like you're gay. Like I, we've, we've had this conversation when you came out and I was like, yeah, I've never, I was like, oh, this is interesting. 'cause you, it was like such a shift where I was like, I had never thought about for myself being into women or being attracted to women because that's not at the core of who I am.
So it was, we all come in with this set point of who we actually are. I don't know if I agree with this actually. Okay. Okay. I'd love to hear your point of view.
Jen: Yeah. Because if you were to ask me mm-hmm. Um, like six years ago. Mm-hmm. I would be like, no, I'm completely straight. I am friends with all, everyone in like the L-G-B-T-Q-I-A community has always been who I've been friends with and who I've worked with.
And so having the perspective of being an outsider, observing their identity and who they are, I was like, oh, it's [00:33:00] not me. And that's fine. And I used to joke around with my friends, can I be part of the community? You know what I mean? Like I'm an ally, like I'm a hardcore ally. Yeah. And I sounded like what you sound like right now.
Yeah. It's just not part of my identity. It's just not who I am. And so like this is what I'm talking about when I talk about identity shifting. Yeah. Where your identity is has such a strong hold. It's your, it's what you own as far as your perspective. Yeah. And the way that you see the world and not just yourself.
Yeah. So it's you looking at the mirror of you through the eyes of yourself and through other people that form this like super, like identity is not something that is like. Super easy to flip or switch? No, not at all. It's, and the amount of beliefs that we have about ourselves to be able to even be like, well, this is my full identity and now I'm gonna switch it to this.
Like it, there was no conscious. [00:34:00] Choice making. Yeah. In me going from, oh, I'm not attracted to women, to I am attracted to women. Yeah. And then not only that, like, because I went through several different steps of the process of maybe I'm bi, maybe I'm poly. Mm-hmm. Maybe I'm this like, it was like now I was trying to recenter myself and find like my footing because.
It's interesting to be in a space of like, I'm in my late thirties. Mm-hmm. And I'm trying to figure out who I am again. And I think that a lot of people actually are in their late thirties, early forties, fifties, and not knowing who they are. Yeah. Because what they've been doing and believing and like how they've been moving through the world is a prescription.
Yeah. That society has given to them that if you follow this, or if you take these pills and you do these things, then you get to be. X, Y and Z. Yeah. And then we've, we come to this point of like midlife crisis, right? Mm-hmm. Which, this is funny talking about it now, because I [00:35:00] remember as a kid thinking about midlife crisis and being like, what does that even mean?
I totally know now. Yeah. You know what I mean? . Understanding that there is this pliability in identity. Yeah. That isn't like, it's not like you can locate it intentionally all of the time. And it, I'm not saying that you can't do it intentionally, but I'm saying that it is so
Lauren: complex, you know, but I think it's, and and or, right.
I think that like, yes. There are I, well, first off, we're always changing identities. Like if you think about people that decided to be a vegetarian, right? That we're eating meat. Mm-hmm. It's the same thing. We're always switching identities and I think that that is throughout our lifetime, through Right, throughout our lifetime.
Mm-hmm. So I think that we're really nuancing down that like all of this gets to be kind of true, right? Because it's, we don't know until we know and when things shift, that becomes our reality. But it's this knowing inside that, where it's like. This is who I am now. Yeah. Like where's your alignment now?
Where's your alignment now? And I think that's what it is. It's not this [00:36:00] like linear thing where it's , am I on my place path to alignment? No. It's this continuation of your path. And I think that we all have our different assignments or our different things we're here for, but I think that throughout our lifetime that's gonna change.
And I think that that's okay.
Jen: Totally
Lauren: right. And I think that for those that. Want to change your identity. There are tools out there to do that. Yeah, totally. Right. And I think that there, for those that are still trying to figure themselves or in a place where you're like in a transition, just know at some point you're gonna have a level of awareness where it's gonna hit.
And you're just gonna know. And sometimes you, and those tools, like tools won't do anything because it just, that's what's meant to be for you.
Jen: I also think like it has something to do with the amount of inner work we're open to doing.
Lauren: Totally, totally. And I will say this and what I've. What I've experienced, and I think maybe you agree, maybe not, and I love that we're a little bit like polarizing sometimes in our opinions around this, but, okay, so once again, your soul consciousness, which is beyond your mind, what I [00:37:00] truly believe is that what the level of your ability to tap into this is your, is your, not only your willingness to be open.
But what's on top of hearing it and learning from it is emotions. So our ability to actually feel emotions, remove emotions. The more that we're open to that, the more that this knowledge comes through. And I think it's some emotions, but it's also just an energy of like, of recognizing it's there and practicing hearing it.
I had this
Jen: interesting psychedelic experience once with Amber. Mm-hmm. Don't worry. This, this, this will make sense in a second. Mm-hmm. And. Within the psychedelic experience, Amber came to this point where she was like, wow, I have no emotion in my body right now. Mm-hmm. And what she was being taught in that journey mm-hmm.
Was that there is a space that we can get to mm-hmm. Where we have true choice. Mm-hmm. And the choices we're making are not [00:38:00] driven by emotion. So I think it's interesting to consider, . in the space of a psychedelic journey, one could argue that who you are in contact with of where you're receiving thoughts from mm-hmm.
Are what you are calling the so sole consciousness. Yeah. So in that case, she didn't actually make choices or like she was understanding that choice isn't like motivated. Necessarily by emotion. Yeah. That there is a place of neutrality that you can be and make choices that are right.
Lauren: Absolutely, and I agree to that because when you're able to get to that place where you can receive that guidance, it's just pure versus the thing that's always getting in our way, that is the emotions is the brain, but we can just bypass the brain and go into that place that Amber went to.
Mm-hmm. I mean, it's hard, like by the way, you, it's, that's a master, like right. When I say that, like flippantly, like that takes a lot of skill to be able to do that. I mean, yes. Right. [00:39:00] Or, or psychedelics., But that it's coming back to the same place, which is like getting back to the core of who you are, right?
And whether we talk about breath work or like, people had the same experience, through their breath how you release emotions is through your breath. So it's through the breath that we're finding all of this, which is like the internal life force of us. I
Jen: mean, there's so many different ways I think that we release emotion.
Yeah. I think that crying does it. Totally. And dancing does it. Movement. Singing does it and talking does it, and you know what I mean? Like yes. Breath definitely helps. , There's just so many mechanisms. Yeah, absolutely. Within the human body. Yeah. To be able to experience and walk through and be with, , and bypass emotion, you know?
Yeah. So it's interesting to like. To talk about emotion in terms of alignment because it's like, okay, where is this emotion coming from? Is this something that my body is feeling? Is this something that my mind is feeling? Is this something that's happening energetically? You know, then where is my alignment?
Yeah. [00:40:00] In the space of being overwhelmed by emotion. Yeah.
Lauren: You know, for me, I, I personally think that our emotions are just signals from our body. Of telling us something, whether it's good or bad, right? It's just. Showing. It's just showing us something.
Jen: Mm-hmm. I mean, I can see that, yes, at times, at times, like our body is speaking through emotion and I see at times that our mind is what's conjuring the emotion.
We could be sitting in a movie theater and going through all kinds of emotion and our body is. In one place.
Lauren: Mm-hmm.
Jen: And it's only our mind that's being affected by what we're seeing on the movie screen. Right. So then emotions you cry in movies, get super scared in movies, and all of those are like emotions being triggered by basically like your eyes receiving things and your mind doing whatever your mind does.
Yeah, exactly. Right. So it's interesting to think about like, okay. If our emotions are speaking to us through mind, through body, through whatever other ways, like [00:41:00] intuition, I think is something completely different. Mm-hmm. Than emotion, but learning to listen and communicate. I think not not just letting it be a one-way communication, but to truly be able to communicate with yourself in multiple ways is, that's what I think we were talking about, or what I was saying when I'm like, it's a lifelong, yeah.
Practice or learning, right?
Lauren: Absolutely. And I think that, that there are different ways to interpret our emotions , but I think it's actually human to feel emotions. Totally. I think that's like the thing that we wanna go back to is, and I think that this can be, you know, I have tools that help people move through emotions and I think that we can also get caught up in the tools of like wondering why and overthinking things sometimes, where sometimes.
You're just crying or sometimes you're just tired or sometimes, and it doesn't mean anything. And just being able to be at the surface of it and allow yourself to feel fully into it. And this is once again, going with this like [00:42:00] flow and alignment where sometimes, like this morning, in my mind I was great.
, I'm happy I'm, I'm with my bestie. We're having like the best time. But I was just bawling, right? And there was, and this is like this disconnect that happens where I could sit there and be like, oh, I gotta do my mindset work, or I gotta do like this and stuff. And I was just like, no, I just gotta like, move through this.
I just gotta allow my, I just gotta allow myself to be human and the allowing myself to be human and not making it anything and not trying to figure things out. Sometimes it's just what we need to do.
Jen: Yeah, for
Lauren: sure. Right. And there's other times where you're like, oh, this is a pattern. Okay, let me look deeper to see what's going on.
And like use it to understand too. But I think sometimes you can just keep it at surface
Jen: level. You know what I think is interesting is like I actually think that we are always in some way in alignment, meaning like. Even if you're in a job that you don't like or a relationship that you don't like, or a relationship that you keep on going back to or living in a place that you hate, like in a way you are in some sort of alignment because [00:43:00] your self, your mind, body, soul, spirit, whatever is meant to learn whatever you're learning there.
And it's kind of what is built into the idea of choice. Yeah. Because. We do, regardless of how many obstacles we see in our way, ultimately have choices, right? Yeah. That we get to make. So like if you're in a relationship again, that is basically mimicking the last relationship that you were in, that you were like, I'll never go back to a relationship like this.
But you end up back there. It's like there's a part of you that's meant to be back there. I'm not saying that you're meant for suffering or for a horrible like life that you hate, but. Regardless. Right. Like we can and will always be the ones who put up the most guardrails and the most yeah, blockages [00:44:00] around ourself to be able to like move through or move past whatever this lesson might be or learn, whatever the lesson might be.
Lauren: Absolutely. I'm. I really am glad that you said that 'cause we are always in alignment because the contrast is teaching us. Yeah, exactly. Right. And I think that once again, this going back to the emotions that every emotion, there's like two sides to the emotion. There's like a positive and a negative and it's a contrast that's helping us see where we wanna be, where we don't wanna be.
Jen: Mm-hmm. And I What do you mean? Like, I like this emotion. I don't like this emotion.
Lauren: Um, like a positive and a negative
Jen: meaning.
Lauren: Just in gen, like, just in general. Not to like go too deep into this, but you know, like, of course I prefer to be happy rather than feeling sad. You know, there's just like a preference as humans of wanting to feel better than not, but knowing that there is, we're, we're on a spectrum of emotions, so we're gonna feel all of them.
It doesn't make it bad or good. It doesn't make the emotion better. Yeah. Agreed. Right. Like, it's just all neutral. And I think that's what we have sometimes we tend to think that , oh, I'm feeling fear, I'm feeling a negative emotion, something's wrong with me, or something's gone [00:45:00] wrong. Mm-hmm. But that doesn't necessarily mean that it's just neutral.
It's just data. It's just showing us something.
Jen: Yeah. Right. I mean, I, my, my favorite example of this is like my mom.
Lauren: Mm-hmm.
Jen: If she's afraid.
Lauren: Mm-hmm.
Jen: It's a no.
Lauren: Mm-hmm.
Jen: For anything, any choice, any action that she might need to take. If all of a sudden she feels fear and it might not even be something that she.
Herself needs to make mm-hmm. A decision about or take action on, it might be something that you need to make a decision about. Mm-hmm. Or take action on. If she feels fear about the the decision you're about to make, then it's a no. Like you shouldn't do it like you're going the wrong direction. If she starts to feel fear in her body, which I think is just like.
Of that generation. And I'm not saying like there's anything wrong with people in that generation. I'm just saying that we were taught differently. Yeah. Right. Generationally. Yeah. And my, my parents are boomers and [00:46:00] they also have a stigma against going to therapy.
Lauren: Mm-hmm.
Jen: Or like even coaching, they hated that I had gotten my coaching certificate because you know, now I'm here and I think I'm better than everybody and I think I'm smarter and too smart, or whatever it might be.
And I'm like, I have always since college gone into fields of like deeper self-awareness. Right? Yeah. I was a sociology, women's studies major. I was always trying to understand myself, society, the mind. Yeah. But in their world, my parents' perspective, right? If they're feeling fear or they think that it's not the right way, then it's automatically the wrong way.
You shouldn't be doing it and you're headed in a, in the wrong direction.
Lauren: Yeah.
Jen: You know? Well, I
Lauren: think this is the nuance, right? Where it's like, this is the things that me and you are still learning. Even though I really teach a lot with my clients. It's that fear, those negative emotions we have to try to figure out is this our inner voice saying that we're out of [00:47:00] alignment and this isn't right?
Or is this just our brain protecting us with the, the mechanism, right? Yeah. And that, and this is always a thing where. When in the moment I'm helping my clients deactivate, or my deactivating myself, so then I can get to a clear place to then determine which one it is. Mm-hmm. Right now, this isn't perfect.
Sometimes I make the wrong decisions or, or I am learning, but I think that I. What I really hope all of us are taking away from this is that our emotions are so powerful. The negative, the positive, all of them. It's always leading us. It's always teaching us. It's part of the entrepreneur journey.
Mm-hmm. Our ability to feel our emotions and be with our emotions actually determines how far out of our comfort zone we're gonna go. True. Agreed. Right. And in order to be an entrepreneur, in order to go to make money and to put yourself out there. You're going to have to go outta your comfort zone, especially to be seen, to ask for money to when your friends and family are like, this is delusional.
There's so many things that we are going after, and so. For me, this [00:48:00] emotional, resiliency, the tools that I teach my clients allow us to give back so that we have a place to make a calm decision from. But it's not perfect. Mm-hmm. . It's seeing, because it's our ability to go past the negative emotions, feel the emotions that are going to keep us in action, whether it's the right action or not, we're gonna learn and it's gonna give us information.
And everything we do is just data. And that's why. One of my programs right now, the embodiment experiment. I call it an experiment because we're experimenting. Mm-hmm. We're learning, we're not doing it perfectly. And I think I look at all of my business as an experiment. Even when people hire me to come in and like scale their offers and put in funnels, the first thing I say to them is, we're gonna start with one and we're gonna see how it works, and then we're gonna adjust from there.
Because life and business is just one big experiment. Totally. And our ability to be in our emotions and change our emotions and feel our emotions allow us to keep on showing up and experimenting faster, the faster we can move through emotions. You know what's interesting,
Jen: the word in [00:49:00] Spanish for experience and experiment is the same word, is it?
Lauren: Mm-hmm. I
Jen: like that. I like that too. 'cause I, I, as you were saying that, I was like, oh yeah, it is like, it is a life experience.
Lauren: Mm-hmm.
Jen: But it is like a life experiment.
Lauren: Yeah. You know? And that's really what I've done and, and we talked about this in the past where like with my business right now, like I just allow it to be fun.
I allow it to be an experiment. And where when you're taking the pressure off, then there's more fun. But also when you're taking the pressure off, there's a little bit more space for flow. There's a little bit more space for like tuning in, and I think that's really what we really want this to be about is just it's, it's an experiment within ourselves and yes, we are always being guided within and getting to experiment with your flow feels like what your alignment feels like, but then knowing that there's gonna be times when it feels bad, when there's emotions coming up, when you might be down the wrong road.
But it's all perfect and it's all part of it.
Jen: Yeah. [00:50:00]
Lauren: It's,
Jen: it's, it's so interesting. Um, yeah, so for me, right, like, and I think this statement is like, I was about to say, like, for me, alignment is this, and I think actually for everyone, alignment is something. Slightly different. Yeah. And so it's about figuring out what your own definition is.
Mm-hmm. Maybe this conversation made it more confusing, or maybe it was clarifying, who knows? But for me, my North star for my life is that I feel fulfillment.
Lauren: Mm-hmm.
Jen: And I feel that the quality of my life, meaning my level of happiness and joy and laughter. Is high. So that, those are the ways that I, for myself, , understand mm-hmm.
My alignment, whether I'm in alignment or I'm out of alignment.
Lauren: Yeah.
Jen: Right. In the, [00:51:00] in the way that the context that we're speaking about it right now.
Lauren: I love that. And as you're seeing alignment, it's different for every single person. It's our journey. We're all meant to do things a little bit differently.
This is why. It's so important to really nuance down when you're building your business. Is this right for me? Does this feel good to me? Because it's gonna be different for everybody. Mm-hmm. A hundred percent. And I know for, like, alignment for me is when I'm just feeling lit up, when I'm in the flow, when I am on my, when I am on that path of knowing that this is exactly what I'm meant to do, but also too, I could be in alignment and still not be feeling good in that moment.
Yeah, totally. Right. So it's like, I don't want, this isn't, this isn't thing you're in alignment when everything is great. It's like, no, like I'm in alignment with my path. I'm, I'm on the right path, but the step right now that I'm in
Jen: feels icky. It
Lauren: feels icky. Totally.
Jen: Like, you know, and I think that fulfillment, in order to feel fulfilled, you can't always feel happy all the time.
Yeah. I, I just don't [00:52:00] think that that equates to it. You need to feel the contrast. No, you have
Lauren: Exactly. 'cause the contrast is helping you see what's right for you and what's not right for you, or like
Jen: just allowing you to feel differently in the body. Right? Yeah. Like if you didn't know what frustration felt like
Lauren: mm-hmm.
Jen: You wouldn't
Lauren: know the opposite of it either. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? Exactly. You have to because that's the human experience that actually have the highs. You have to have the lows.
Jen: Yes. Because you wouldn't,
Lauren: it would always just be, it would become numb.
Jen: Yeah, because like entrepreneurship is hard, but you
Lauren: can still
Jen: totally be in alignment.
Lauren: Yeah.
Jen: Even though you're doing the
Lauren: task that you Exactly, exactly that. I think that is the big, like what a big takeaway because I think, oh, I gotta kumbaya and it has to good all the time. . Well thank you for listening to this.
Episode on alignment, and it ended up being like a whole bunch of us things about. Emotions, identity, but it's all, it's all on the same.
Jen: Yeah. [00:53:00] I'm so curious. I wanna know your thoughts though mm-hmm. On this one, particularly for some reason. Leave us some comments. Yes. Let us know your thoughts. All right.
We'll see
Lauren: you in the next episode. For now. That is if you, if you wanna hear more, let us know. That too.